Exercise is Dangerous! (Part 2)

Hey guys, sorry, another two parter. I don’t want you to think that I’m not being original or creative enough to think of new titles.. it isn’t that, it’s just that today tied in too well with yesterday’s topic so it’s a double whammy, a two-sided game or a two-step dance if you will. I have even more evidence that physical activity is just far too risky!

I’m going to start with how I am currently feeling.. which is bloomin sore and achy. I hate to admit to you all but I didn’t take my own advice from yesterday and today I did even more exercise; aerobics even (minus that wrist spraining step though!) I did an aerobic dance, Club Land DVD with my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend. My legs were already aching from stepping too much yesterday (plus running around the Leisure Centre car park trying to meet up with the patient/victim’s Mum).. my poor, poor calves! I have also discovered later in the day that my ankle seems to be swollen. At first, I thought it was an insect bite as there is a big lump at the front with a little red dot.. but the side of the ankle is swollen too, but it doesn’t hurt much just when I put pressure on it. (Doctors please post diagnosis in the comments at the end!) So yes, If I had followed my own advice, I would be sitting here ache free and satsifyingly full of delicious, creamy chocolate….

The exercise DVD was fun.. in a painful, torture like way. We had fun making fun of the perfect dancer type female instructor, which brings me on to my next piece of harmful evidence. What exactly does a Club Land DVD do for your confidence and self-esteem?! My mate said that she likes the fact that woman has a ‘perfect’ body and a sexy and glamorous persona as it is something to aim for/someone to look up to. I, personally, feel like a big, sweaty whale in comparison and I’m normally pretty happy and confident in my own skin (even if it does have blemishes like ‘normal’ people!) So, I was having trouble taking this girl seriously as she didn’t seem to show any human qualities like pain, sweat or breathe! She kept reminding us to breathe! I thought, ‘Do you actually breathe? Is there an end to this robotic exercise act??’ And don’t get me started on her outfits! What did me and my mate wear? Some casual gym trousers and a vest top… what do you wear to the gym? Similar I would guess. We were so close to putting our gold bikinis on but thought better of it………

Seriously, who does a workout like this?!

Haha. I really think also that they haven’t thought about their target audience…. I mean why are the women half-naked but the men covered up? I may feel like lunging a bit more and jumping that bit higher if I thought I was impressing a half, naked fit man! (Yes, I know it’s TV but we clearly aren’t in reality here!) I actually said about ten minutes in that I hadn’t even glanced at the men yet! The sparkles of the two pieces and orange, sunny glows of the female flesh weren’t letting my eyes divert even for a second.  Another hazard that could have occurred if we were dancing with these people in the real land of exercise is getting our eyes popped out with the blonde ladie’s boobs! I honestly thought they were going to escape out of a pink, lycra boob tube at during the combat section. (That also gets me… why the costume changes? I want to burn calories not watch a fashion show! 😉 )

Amazing, choreographed dancers that they were…. these doll-like people just aren’t what I look for in workout buddies I’m afraid! I want someone to drip onto that screen, with their hair scraped back and to not smile all the time! And to be wearing some jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.. yeh fitted is fine as I know it’s TV and they have to sell these DVDs! Then, you see, I would feel amazing because I would be like ‘Yeh, we are the same you and me, we have matching outfits, we are sweating and I can do (some) of your moves…’ Maybe she could even dig into a chocolate bar at the end and I would happily tuck into the reward for a team effort!

So I enjoyed Club Land purely for the entertainment value. The DVD is perfect for watching with your mates to admire (or cringe) at the outfits, enjoy the music , watch the pretty dancers or let you boyfriend have a treat! Next time, I’ll try Nell McAndrew or Davina McCall (no offence ladies, I’m not saying your boring; I like your ability to keep it real and maintain womanly bodies!)

Just incase you had forgotten the wonder of the gold bikini already 😉 Wanted to leave you with a lasting, mental (or is that metal?) picture!

Have a relaxing evening!

See you tomorrow,


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tina Holmes
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 17:19:00

    I hate the one in the gold bikini and I think she nhas fake boobs!!!! I would even join in if the men had less kit on. Now for our morning walk tomorrow what shall we wear….


  2. David Mulgrew
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 10:47:37

    1 They are in bikinis because their main target audience isnt just women. It needs to catch a mans attention so he will buy it for the woman. I cant see many men buying this for themselves but I bet a lot of men buy it for the missus.
    2 They don’t sweat because they only do one move and then have a break. Watch how many times the camera changes angle next time you do a DVD like this. Every time they change angle the dancers take a break.
    3.The costume changes are probably because it takes them a whole week to do the one routine and they didn’t buy enough gold bikinis.


  3. Sam Gray
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 12:58:27

    I do realise about the costume changes and why they don’t sweat lol – they were just very good reasons to humorously insult the instuctor 😉 you should have come and watched it – we needed you for the grinding part lol! And did yo buy this for Tanya then? 😉


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