Two hearts, two rings..

Afternoon guys,

Remember I told you about my friend who got engaged? Well, tomorrow I am going to see her… her fiance, new house and new kitten (their new neighbours gave them one apparently! I know! All I got from my new neighbours was a telling off for parking in front of their house!). So I am quite excited to celebrate with her and another great friend too. I have just finished a little surprise for the engaged couple actually… which I hope to share with you in some way over the weekend. 😉 I now envisage my friend getting super dooper excited and ultra hyper about the looming surprise… yes I know you so well my friend 😉

She phoned me earlier to arrange tomorrow and told me that she had bought another engagement ring because she didn’t like the original one that he proposed with. This got me thinking… is this wrong? Or is it important to be honest and not get stuck with something that you don’t find beautiful for the rest of your life? (Those women married to ugly blokes have to though don’t they?? Haha). I immediately said to her on the phone, ‘Oooh very Sex and the City because there is a storyline where Aidan proposes to Carrie. He buys a ring beforehand and she secretly finds it, unknown to him. She then complains to her girlfriends… as they often do in that programme… that she hates the ring and her friend, Samantha, then takes him shopping to replace it so he could propose with her ‘dream’ ring. Now in the real world we don’t all have personal shoppers or friends that will butt in… or indeed actually go searching for the rings in the first place! So what would you do if you were presented with a ring and you thought ‘ergh’?

After our phone call, I realised there is another great example of this in the programme Cold Feet … remember that? A British comedy/drama set in northern England from the nineties? I love it and have all the boxset dvds… anyway, Adam proposes to Rachel with a huge, jewel clustered ring that was hugely expensive and she hated it and at first she pretended to like it. She decided that Adam obviously chose not to spend much because it looked so ‘cheap’ but then it started to snag all her clothes (imagine if it did on your wedding dress?!) and she came clean and admitted she wanted to change it. All turned out well there too (even though I forgot to mention in the Sex and the City example they didn’t actually make it to the altar and the ring got returned…) but these poor men! They buy expensive rings and women think they are cheap, they buy gold and women want white gold or silver, they get big diamonds and the woman wants small… should they let the woman choose herself or does that take the romance away?

Back to my mate….she too, like Rachel, pretended to love the ring at first. In fact she sent me a picture whilst I was sunbathing the other week.. you know when I posted about Sun V Housework? But clearly, unlike her and her fiance, the love did not blossom with the ring. Turns out, he bought it in Poland (he is Polish, he didn’t just go for a very long, faraway shopping trip!) a while ago and no longer had the receipt and even if he did, it’s a bit of a way to make a return or exchange! But still, my friend knows what she wants, is always true to herself and asked her fiance if they could split the cost of a new one. He agreed and they lived happily ever after in ring bliss.

So what do you all think about the women’s choice? Should she like it or lump it when proposed to with a ring? I’m asking you because I’m not really sure myself. I think, I would be happy with whatever was chosen… as long as it was white gold, not too big a diamond and not too expensive… haha maybe that answers it and we all have ideals of what an engagement should be. Should the man at least have a go at choosing one though? Or would it just cause arguments if he didn’t know her well enough to know what was perfect? To return to Sex and the City, Carrie thought that Aidan wasn’t the right guy because he couldn’t choose the right ring! A bit extreme and friend, I am not trying to make you think that! 😉 I think maybe it depends on the individual, some women will want to choose, some will happily accept whatever and be grateful that he has finally proposed, some will put up with a hideous band of gold for a quiet life and some will be honest and ask for an exchange… or in my mate’s case a second ring! I teased her and said ‘typical Lou, has to have two rings!’ We joke about her being a princess you see (no she isn’t actually royalty!). She isn’t actually spoilt either and actually a very generous and giving person (she had a huge part in me getting my job but that’s another story), she just, over certain things, likes to be ‘me, me, me!’ And I know she won’t mind be saying this because I think she plays up to it a lot really and takes it all in good humour… either that or she’ll get a new friend instead of me like she did with a ring 😉

So blokes, if you are thinking of buying an engagement ring, why not ask her mates or Mum what kind of ring she would like? She will have said at some point! And ladies, don’t be afraid to speak up if your ring isn’t your one true love! Going back to Poland may be pushing it though 😉

I’m sure my friend will love this post being dedicated and dominated by her…. I’ll take this opportunity to say ‘Congratulations’ to them both! (And the two rings!)

See you tomorrow… and I’ll tell you all about these two rings, maybe I’ll even get pictures for you!


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lou
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 18:30:32

    Get commenting peeps…I need to make sure I’ve made the right decision!! 😉

    But just to clear a few things up…I love the original ring…just not as an engagement ring. It was the worst thing ever having to tell my fiance that I wanted to change it. HIs first reply…”What, why?!” His second reply…”If you want to change it then of course you can”. I’ve definately bagged myself a good one! 🙂


  2. Lou
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 18:31:18

    ps…oh god!!! Didn’t realise my email address came up on here…!!!!! Is it time to change that as well as my ring?!


  3. Sam Gray
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 18:42:11

    Thanks for presenting yourself to the blogging world! I think you can hide your email address if you put a name in, others have put nicknames in etc. And yes, you do have good one 😉 xx


  4. Tina Holmes
    Aug 10, 2012 @ 13:41:26

    Sam – she can’t hide her email address at this stage – you need to remove it for her. You need to pout your name as something you are prepared to share with the world and then your email address only in the email address box.

    I think you should be able to talk about anything if you are going to be married – including the fact that you think he made a bad choice of ring. Truth is a good starting point for future happiness 🙂


  5. Sam Gray
    Aug 10, 2012 @ 15:11:31

    Ok cheers, sorted for her and think her name should now come up instead!

    Yeh I think you should be able to say anything to your partner.


  6. Karen
    Aug 13, 2012 @ 19:08:56

    Yep it just says Lou now .. you did the right thing Lou .. that ring is for ever .. and “He” knows it. I know you will both be very happy together .. you always “shine” when you talk about him. Love to you both xxx


    • Sam Gray
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 19:21:59

      Assuming this is Mum Karen.. hehe. Thanks for reading and yes I think she did the right thing and it’s good to be honest! The new ring is lovely! xxx


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  9. Trackback: 4 Proposals and 2 rings…. | I'm not gossiping... (I'm networking!)

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