Hello people…

I seem to be involved with animals a lot over my holiday and I’m trying to make a stand against them! Firstly, I’ve told you about the walks I’ve been on with my boyfriend’s Mum and her dogs. Well that first walk, the little, ever so cute puppy took me for a run remember?! And it got me thinking that animals can take over if they so choose. My boyfriend’s Mum keeps telling me, ‘you are in charge, not them!’ This was repeated again when that oh so darling little border collie took me through the deepest part of the mud puddle! I have never had cats or dogs as pets so didn’t really think about the fact that we need to teach them who is boss… I only ever had a rabbit, mice and a budgie when I was younger and them being locked firmly behind bars spoke volumes of who was in charge! Obviously, with my title, you literature fans will notice my play on Orwell’s Animal Farm’s famous quote of ‘Four legs good, two legs bad,’ where a group of pigs take over the humans in order to run a farm. That novel has the whole allgoric idea of the Stalin era leading up the second World War. But I’m not getting into all that… I want to think of this literally and what if animals did take over? Could they if we didn’t train them or put them in their place? Crazy thought I know… well it is Friday!

The cute little puppy who tried to take ME for a run!

I thought about this the other day when I was at my boyfriend’s brother’s house having lunch with him and his girlfriend (this was after the Club Land Dvd that I discuss on the Exercise is Dangerous part 2 post!) Their cat tried to jump onto his lap whilst he was eating his salad and they discussed how the cat is getting more like that lately and thinking she is the boss of the house! She (the cat) had to be told numerous amounts of time to not lick the plates after we had finished in order to know she couldn’t just do what she wanted! I then had this image of what may happen if they never disciplined her like this?… would she start getting food from the cupboards and learn to walk upright like they do in Animal Farm? Haha….best keep an eye out on your cat this weekend 😉

The cat… with partner in crime… ready to take over the household!

For saying I do not have any of my own animals.. so I don’t get the cuddles and stroking and all the good bits (but not the vet’s bills either come to think) I still get plenty of visits from cats. Remember how we got rid of our shed? (See Shed Light on the Garden post if you didn’t). Well, I think the cats in the surrounding houses think it is their new playground! It has plenty of rubble and long grass to play in.. much fun! I don’t shoo them yet.. which has got me thinking that I should. Because when the garden is done and we actually have living things in it, I won’t want them  around and maybe by letting them now, I am giving them chance to mark their territory, make a home, invade… or whatever it is that cats do!

I went into the garden yesterday to hang out some washing and noticed a black cat curled around the top of our water butt. They often do this as it seems the perfect shape and size. (except for the big, fat ginger ball one that normally sits there. I swear one day it will buckle inder his weight and the garden will be flooded!) I’d never seen this black one before and as I walked towards him/her/it (you can tell I don’t have a cat!) it hissed at me!! I should have hissed back to ne honest or scared it off in some way but instead I told it off like I would a kid at school! It seemed I’d missed using my ‘teacher voice!’ I shouted at it, ‘How dare you hiss at me in my own garden! Now sit there quietly or you can leave!’ Haha! I really hope the neighbours didn’t hear or there will be crazy rumours going around…. on the bright side they may keep their cats away!

My neighbour actually mentioned how his cat sits on my water butt… I don’t know if he means the ginger giant or the horrible hisser (see an animal lover would ask!) but he said it was nice that they have somewhere to sit. ‘yeh, I thought, ‘great… I’m really glad your cat can visit my holiday retreat to relax!’ He then said he had a problem getting him to come home thought yesterday to go to the vets. I offered to put something on it to stop them sitting on it… I was thinking of tar.. or glue… or poison.. (No don’t call the RSPCA.. I’m joking! I’ve said I don’t mind them being there as long as they don’t hiss at me!) He said that wasn’t necessary but could I move the water butt a foot closer next time so he could reach it??! I hope he was joking.. as I might as well just set the sunbed up next time just inbetween the two gardens so he has the best sunny position and can still get home for his appointment!

Before you write me off as a complete animal hater… I am a little bit in love with the tiny, grey kitten next door (the other side). He could definitly take over the world and get to the top purely on looks and charm! He is adorable… and I’ve actually been scared that the neighbours think I’m trying to take him. He keeps comin to our gardern everyday… probably plotting for a destruction! But Kitty, the garden already looks like a bomb has hit it! When we were cutting down trees the other night (sorry did I say WE? oops) and the cat kept scampering about and getting in our way… another way that these four legged lovelies take over. We had to keep stopping work (doh said ‘we’ again!) in order to make sure the cat wasn’t where the tree was about to fall or in the big pile of leaves that we were going to set fire to! Really held us up… he owes us at least an hour of labour!

So watch out for your four legged friends… they may seem to be ‘cute’ but they are actually just distracting you.. they may seem to be sunbathing.. but they may be trying to drive you out or your own garden. Or they be trying to squash your water butt! Or take you on a run at a ridiculous time of day!

Take charge… two legs good, four legs bad!

Woof and Meow for now,

See you tomorrow.. unless the cats hijack my laptop!


5 thoughts on “Two legs in charge; Four legs not!

  1. Firstly that picture is of Gizmo. You really can’t tell cats apart.

    If you really want to show the cats its your garden you need to urinate up all the vertical surfaces.

    As for showing cats who is boss, maintain eye contact until they look away. This shows them you are dominant.
    You should get into the habit of doing this whenever you make eye contact. If you turn round and go back inside the cat thinks its now in charge of the garden.I’ve never seen a cat who wouldnt submit to a human eventually, we are much larger of course. You might have a particularly brave cat though. I’m sure you’ve seen videos of cats attacking humans
    Don’t move towards them when doing this, that would be considered aggressive and if they feel cornered they may scratch and bite.
    If you really want to be friendly blink you eyes at them, but still maintain eye contact. Blinking shows you are friendly and not threatening but you still want them to know your in charge.

    Get yourself a couple of kittens. Cats look after themselves and most cats will reflect your personality. A well loved cat will always be nearby, usually sleeping on your pillow.

    Vet bills can get big though. Millie is over £2500 for her recent illness. Good job shes insured. Her insurane cost is a little higher being as she is an old lady now but chip and Gizmost were £5-£6 a month so making sure they are looked after does not cost the earth.

    Also bear in mind cats are very smart. Most people think they are stupid because its virtually impossible to teach them to fetch. They’re not stupid they are lazy. They can be taught tricks with the right motivation. Chip frequently steals my memory stick. He sits on my desk looking innocent and waits for me to look away for the printer or something like that. When I turn back he’s gone as quick as he can and by the time I catch up to him the memory stick is mysteriously missing, usually in a hidey hole along his escape route.

  2. Thanks for the advice… and yes that cat looks just the same to me!!

    Did you like my post? Was it funny? I love that you are commenting but would appreciate some feedback for how it was meant to be, which is funny, tongue in cheek about animals… not a serious article about cats, although i do appreciate the info 😉 and I’m defo going to try the eye contact one!

    I dont think we will get a cat… I would rather spend my money on other things at this point in life.. besides I have many for free! haha.

    Also, I probably should have asked you about the picture beforehand so hope that was cool, sorry about that! And for picking the wrong one lol!


  3. I’ll shoo you out of your garden see how you like it 😉 you never really “own” a cat, thats the appeal. Where as dogs are stupid enough to let you do what you want with them 😉 except spud who has just “walked” me around a strange trail and field. Xx

  4. Hahaha – I am glad you are not thinking of getting a dog (or a cat) they would run rings around you and before long you would be sitting and sleeping on the floor while they had the chairs and the bed! For the water butt – it is YOURS not theirs so take control and put some twigs on top!

    Two legs are very much in charge – I think we will get you walking Stan to make sure you do take control. 🙂

  5. Tamzin the animal lover, I think you are going to end up with a house full of cats and none will be your own lol!!! isn’t it true that it scares other off when you get your own? Cos it’s their territory?

    Tina… this morning I scared away the black cat and put a flower pot on top of my butt 😉 … water butt that is! dammit I’m wasting good info for today’s blog here lol…
    N I don’t think I would quite let cats take over my beds and chairs… lol give me some credit 😉 N let’s face it Stan is a special case for being in charge of… but you have a deal and tues I will have a go! We still doing the pub bit after right??? I may need it! 😀

    Also, hope you are ok with me putting pic of Tommy up? Should have checked before really…


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