Christmas Spirit

I do love an old spirit pun at this time of year. I am planning to put up decorations this week so I felt in the spirit to write this poem. It took me 5 mins so it’s a bit sketchy but sometimes I just like to write something straight out without editing.
Christmas Spirit
We only have four weeks to go,
until that special day,
presents to buy and food to get,
’til ‘Merry Christmas’ we say!
It can be a little stressful,
so you need to stay ‘with it’
so get out Baileys or vodka,
and get in the Christmas spirit!
Believe me, with a glass in hand, you feel much more like getting the decorations out or writing those christmas cards!
XSXS
Advertisements

Old friends are gold; new friends are silver….

Naturally, I am talking about ‘old’ friends as in an old, lasting friendships – not age! Yet, the longer you are friends, the older they get and it is a lovely thought to think you are getting older together. Or in our case, with me and my friends, we have grown-up together. And even in that sense, there are two examples. The ones I have knows since I was 5 and we have literally grown-up together and the ones from secondary school and sixth form, we have grown-up together in so many ways! Making many a mistake along the way.

I am extremely rich in terms of friendship and I find myself possessing much gold and silver…….even some bronze, if you think of acquaintances too! I have a group of friends from school and we have all been friends for over ten years. In fact a few of them, I have been friends with for 22 years, since we started school. My closest friend, has always remained close and our truly golden friendship has never shifted. We have both worked hard to stay close though. And all the other school friends, we have always made the effort. The reason I am writing this post today is because I spent the night last night with these golden, sparkly friends. We were celebrating my closest friend’s birthday at a party at her house. One  of my friends, who in previous posts I have referred to as my GBF (gay best friend), started getting a little emotional about how we had all stayed so close. We all have very different jobs, new groups of friends, live in different areas, yet we always get together regularly and especially when it matters i.e. birthdays. I thought to myself last night after this was said, that no matter happens in the future with new friends or when I feel I don’t fit in certain situations, I will always have these people to turn to. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

Silver friends are just as important… in fact, in terms of jewellery, I prefer silver. Not that that has any particular meaning here as I don’t play favourites with friends. Silver friends are so valuable though because they are the friends we make as adults and will most likely be more similar to us, share our interests and reflect the people we have become. I have a close group of girly mates that fall into this category and they are all from my old school, where we all once (some still do) worked as TAs. So our job, similar career aspirations, attitudes towards the field all created a strong bond between us. We all had different previous experiences, are different ages (I think we worked out that at school we were all in a different year, as there is a range of 5 years – I am the youngest, may I add 😉 ), and come from different areas. If we were to all meet at the age of 14, I am not sure we would have been friends but at the time of life we did meet, it was a perfect time for a friendship to blossom. So, see how you can have very different groups of friends? I love it and feel very lucky.

I also have university friends who I see separately or sometimes we meet for reunions. They share a part of my life that, when with them, I love to revisit. I also have other groups of ex-colleagues who I see too. The important thing to do is to stay in touch with people then you won’t lose friends but just keep on gaining. Naturally, this isn’t always the case because if the other party aren’t putting effort in then things will gradually fall apart and you will drift. That is life. But if you make the effort, you know you have done all you can do to preserve friendships. Not just precious metals but they are also like plants and they need tender loving care. (I feel I am now getting too sentimental like my GBF last night!)

I notice that some people like to have ‘one’ friend at a time, whether that is someone they have just met or a ‘flavour of the week’ typed friend and I find this odd. I guess it works for them and some people feel they need that one person to be with all the time. I need groups of individuals. Meaning, groups when we socialise and I can also spend time with them as individuals when we choose. But one thing I love is meeting friends and introducing them to other friends – mixing the silver with gold if you will. I like to keep creating new circles and expanding them, whereas I know some people like to keep certain friends to themselves. I say, show them off and let them meet new people and spread the love!

So see friends as antiques, treasure the golden ones – they are so precious. They share your past, know the previous versions of yourself and you will always have things to talk about like funny stories from the ‘olden’ days. Don’t forget to keep collecting silver ones though because they are just as valuable in life and will help you grow in the current part of your life. And don’t forget about the bronze – the people you meet a couple of times, acquaintances, friends of friends. Nurture them because they could become silver, or eventually gold.

XSXS

Screening their Humanity

I came across a post on Facebook last night because one of my friends ‘liked’ it. It was an open, public post where a woman had wrote on the British Gas page. She was sharing a story of how her daughter had been choking that afternoon and a British Gas worker, who was with her neighbour, had shot round to come and help her daughter because she was too shocked to do so. She was mainly posting to thank this man and give him the public recognition he deserves. She also gave a few other details about the fact she hadn’t had time to get the man’s name but she had called her husband in panic for him to come home. The husband managed to get the gas man’s number plate, whilst the mother was comforting the daughter we assume. All a nice story right? My first thought was, ‘wow a positive story for once!’ My second thought was ‘oooh a lot of comments, that’s great!’

Some comments were congratulating and lovely, but others? Well I was shocked and disgusted. I would say the comments were 50/50 and nobody was sitting on the fence with this issue. Issue? Yes, I didn’t think there was one either. I just thought people would show concern for the mother, the daughter and give praise to the gas man. It is amazing what people say when they are safely tucked away behind a screen. People were criticising the mother for not doing first aid herself, when she had claimed to have had tried but she was in shock. One comment actually read, ‘you are a tool of a mother!’  Can you imagine someone saying that in person if they were told about this in the street? People think they can say anything on these threads and they are purposely put there to give their opinion. People were also saying ‘how he is going to see that on here? You’re just doing this to get ‘likes,’ you sad person!’  Er, pot, kettle black?! So what if she does want to get ‘likes’? That isn’t really the point here. She wanted to publically give her appreciation and hopefully the message would get back to him somehow. Isn’t that one of the advantages of a social networking site? She wanted to show off the good deed he had done and share some good news for once. I did actually post a comment to say, ‘It is nice to hear good news for once. It is clear we don’t get enough good news as people are trying to draw the negative out of it and it is making them cynical and bitter.’ I was so appalled by what I was reading on there. Some people were even giving advice on what the mother should have done in their opinion, yet the advice was wrong!! Never put your fingers down someone’s throat when they are choking! This stupid man seemed to think this is what the mother should have been doing rather than runnig out panicked in the street. If he knew anything, he would know that this would have most likely pushed the object further down causing it to become even more stuck. (I’ve included the procedure at the bottom.)

Some people had actually gone onto her profile and noticed the day before she had ‘liked’ the British Gas page. This was sinister apparently and all part of this ‘set-up’. How ridiculous! Surely it was a coincidence and meant to be that she ‘liked’ them since one of their workers was going to save her daughter’s life the following day. As if she would create a scenario about her daughter choking in order to post on the page or to win a holiday as some people put. Some also thought she had relatives working for British Gas and this was a way of putting them in a forgiving light after all the increased prices. Again, absurd! I do really worry how people’s minds work! I wouldn’t dream of coming to these conclusions! Again, the big picture is being missed by so many people. It wasn’t about British Gas, who the man worked for, how she knew the man or how she got in touch with people about it. At the end of the day, an everyday, ordinary man helped save another’s life. I had some faith in humanity restored…. until I read the comments and realised there is still a lot cynical, sly, untrusting, spiteful scum out there.

Some people were actually researching the number plate to either prove the man was actually from British Gas or to be helpful and track him down… I wasn’t quite sure what the intentions were there. I assumed, after all the other negative comments, that it was for suspicious reasons. The old saying from Thumper in Bambicomes to mind; ‘If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.’ Even though that has always bugged me that it is a double negative and actually means the opposite! I guess the opposite is what many of them followed!

I know, realistically people aren’t all going to send their best wishes. People are always going to disagree and have different theories about things but it was just so saddening to see some of the thoughts. Taking a heroic, happy incident and ripping it apart in their own free time. That was another thing I didn’t get and that was the fact that they were moaning about her putting it on Facebook, yet they were reading it and commenting on it on Facebook. People sit in their computer chairs or with their laptops balanced on their knees and think they have the right to give their twisted opinion and then complain that the thread shouldn’t be there in the first place. Well guys, if you didn’t comment then threads like that wouldn’t exist. And if just the decent people commented then threads would be a lot nicer too and represent the actual scenario much better.

Sometimes things don’t need to analysed or looked deeper at (this is coming from me who loves nothing more!) but sometimes things and stories should be taken at face value and people can get some happiness from it. And next time you type think to yourself, ‘would I say that in person?’

If I could tell this to those posters in person, then I would! Not that it would do a lot of good. Some people are pessimists through and through and will always jump to the dark side when there is normally a silver lining.

I say well done to the British Gas man and I hope he is there is many other’s hours of need! And I am glad the daughter is recovering well and her amazing parents are okay too.

https://www.facebook.com/britishgas/posts/10151356931195649 – take a look for yourself. You have been warned!

XSXS

My Final 50 Shades of Freed Opinion

Well guys, I have read the third and final book in the 50 Shades trilogy. 50 Shades Freed, I enjoyed. I am trying to work out if it was a good book, though, or if I really enjoyed it because it was the first book I read on my Nook (I’m loving how Nook rhymes with book by the way!) I think it is part novelty factor that I was excited to read it each time. I kept joking that ‘I was going to bed with my Nook!’ You can’t deny it doesn’t automatically remind you of nooky! Haha.

Anyway, to the book itself… in its fine ebook form. I enjoyed the story of this one, as predictable as it was. It had a happy ending, which i do admit, for the characters in it I wasn’t expecting but it is a generic ending overall. There was some twists and turns, which I admit did keep me page turning (with a flick of the finger on my Nook) and yearning to read on.

I hate to say this though… I got bored with the sex! For starters, they do it far too often. How often can it be physically possible?! And one point they do it again 5 minutes after… I mean I know Mr. Grey is young but he isn’t 18 anymore! And as for Ana, surely she would get sore, thrush or something with the amount of times they do it?! You never hear the words ‘sorry love, I’m not in the mood/I have a headache/let’s just cuddle.’ Ana says at times when they have had arguments that they need to have sex because ‘it is what they do.’ It is almost like sex is a barometer in their relationship and tells them that all is okay. When you think of it like that then maybe all our relationships are like that. So, yes I felt myself skimming across the sex scenes because I felt there could be no news way for them to do it and the author was certainly not going to bust out that thesaurus to write it in different ways (I discovered this after book 1).

But, as ever, I did enjoy the depths of Christian and finding out why he is the way he is. I really liked him as a character in the end and in this book it was Ana I was more frequently annoyed with. Sunbathing topless, driving a jet ski, going out drinking without calling him when her husband is so needy, clingy and paranoid. It was like she was deliberately trying to piss him off. At least we understand why he is like that. I enjoyed finding out more about his past and I also thought it was a nice touch how the book started and ended with Christian’s perspective (rather than Ana’s like the rest of the book) as it showed both sides to the two characters we had come to know.

So if you have read the first two books, then this is worth a read to complete your sexy trilogy. If you enjoy the sex parts then definitely read this one as it has a lot of raunchy bits – much more then the second book. It isn’t amazing writing; it isn’t portrayed to be. But a holiday read, a sunday afternoon read or a new Nook read.. Yes.

Now which book to read on my Nook…. I must remember that you do actually buy the books. It is easy to forget when a book is on your screen ready to read within seconds of a few touches and clicks.

XSXS

Goldilocks and the Three Pigs

Sunday afternoon should be story time…. I hope to read a little more of some books on my new Nook later. In the meanwhile, I thought I would share with you a story I have started to write. My boyfriend’s sister is always talking about fan fiction on the internet and how it mixes two well known stories or characters together. She likes reading about Harry Potter mixed with the world of Percy Jackson. I decided to mix two well known children’s stories together. I became fascinted by this at Uni actually when we studied Angela Carter and she created more adult versions of certain fairy tales. I haven’t decided how sinister mine is going to get yet. See what you think… any suggestions welcome:

Goldilocks and the Three Pigs

With her blonde, curly hair blowing in the breeze, Goldilocks strolled down the lane leading from the bottom of her garden. She was finally allowed out again. She had been grounded since the bear incident. She was a curious, inquisitive girl and it always got her into trouble. She had only wanted to see the three bears’ house and exploring their various chairs and beds had been fun! The porridge had been disgusting though!  Yes, her parents hadn’t been happy with her and she hadn’t been allowed to leave the house on her own, until that moment.

She had permission to walk into town and buy some sweets from the local, traditional sweet shop. All children saved their pocket money in order to buy a small bag of sweets from there at the weekend. They tasted great and were brilliant value for money. Goldilocks had been warned, though, to steer clear of the local wolf. The wolf was a nasty creature, who came after animals and humans. Under no circumstances should Goldilocks talk to the wolf, her parents ordered. The wolf tended to focus on certain groups or families at a time and make their lives a misery. A while ago it had been a local family who had a daughter with a red cape. That hadn’t ended well. Goldilocks wasn’t scared though and the town was busy so surely nothing could happen?

As she came close to the main high street, she realised she had forgotten her pocket money! How could she buy sweets without any money? She felt very upset and froze on the spot and started to cry a little. She also felt annoyed at herself and very sad that she couldn’t get her sweets. Then, she saw a flash of dark, grey fur out of the corner of her left eye. It was the wolf! He had crept around the corner and was now stood next to her on the pavement. Goldilocks quickly hit her running tears away  with the back of her hand and obediently turned away as not to speak to the wolf.

            ‘Little girl, stay and listen to me,’ the wolf purred.

            ‘I have to go. I have no money and my Mum and Dad said I can’t talk to you’, Goldilocks babbled.

            ‘Well, I don’t know your parents and I don’t think they know me, so it seems a little unfair for them to say that, don’t you think?’ he said in a sickly, sweet voice.

            ‘That is true’, Goldilocks agreed ‘but I don’t know you either and I shouldn’t speak to people I don’t know.’

This girl was cleverer than the wolf has anticipated. He would have to be extra sneaky to gain her trust and win her over.

            ‘Shame about your money,’ he said, changing the subject. ‘The sweets are amazing from that shop at the end of the road.’

            ‘Yes, that’s what I was meant to be getting,’ Goldilocks said glumly.

            ‘Well, what would you say if I bought you all the sweets you could eat? If you do a little job for me?’ the wolf was almost whispering by this point.

The little girl’s face had lit up when he said this but by the end of his suggestion, her expression was just full of confusion.

            ‘Let me explain,’ he spoke calmly, ‘there are three pigs, who have been spreading rumours about me. They are three brothers and the rumours are probably the reason your parents warned you against me. The Hamsons, they are called. I want to teach them a lesson but they always keep a good look out for me. They would never suspect you. The youngest brother, Porky, has just made himself a house of straw. I want to destroy it.’

The curly haired girl trembled and fear came into her eyes. ‘I can’t do anything bad, I’ll get into trouble.’ She mumbled.

            ‘Your parents would never know and neither would anyone else.’ The wolf soothed.

            ‘Then why don’t you do it if no one will know? You just said, they won’t recognise me so you must be thinking they will see me!’ Exclaimed the fearful girl, who wished she had ran home for her money the moment she had realised. At the exact same moment, the wolf was feeling rather irritated at the girl’s intelligence and wished that he had approached someone a little more naive like the Jones’ girl who lives near the woods. Another girl in a red hood, like the one he had captured last month, would have been ideal too.

‘Well they would know it was you about the house, but they wouldn’t know you had done anything wrong. I can’t even go near their houses without them calling the town police.’ He said as calmly as ever.

‘Oh right,’ she said, still seeming a little unsure. ‘What would I have to do?’ She looked very nervous that the wolf would have felt sympathy, if he was capable of that feeling that is. ‘Would I have to set the house on fire?’ She asked. The wolf’s eyes lit up as the fire would. He hadn’t even thought of that!

‘Well yes, I think that would be the best way. I would try and blow it over but I’m getting old now and don’t have a lot of puff.’

 

….. that is as far as I have got. It is written in child-like form really. I may make it more adult like and think of a sinister ending. Any thoughts?

XSXS

A Happy Soul

….. We must find a happy and calm mind in a world of suffering. That is what Buddhists believe. I think there is a lot to be said for that. I went to a Buddhist centre yesterday and I always find it a very interesting religion.  In fact, if I was to properly commit to a region, that would be the one I would choose. I don’t consider myself religious and when I have said that in the past, I have taken it to mean that I don’t believe in god. But in Buddhism there is no god; so it is an interesting thought that there doesn’t need to be a god for a religion.

I am not one of these members of a younger generation who has dismissed christianity and/or god and said I am a non-believer because it is ‘cool’. I have thought and researched it a lot. Religion, I am  fascinated by as a whole.

At Uni, I went to a few different Christian services. I was influenced by some friends at the time, who were devout Christians. In one church, I felt very uncomfortable and like people were in ‘cliques’ and they wanted to ensnare to me to join. In another service at a more modern church, I was a bit freaked out by the upbeat-ness of it all. All this ‘praise the lord’ stuff, which reminded me of American TV and then people started talking in tongues. This was the strangest thing I think I ever seen and I knew at that point that I would never go back. I was glad I experienced them though and I admire people who have that faith and go to church every week. From then on, I decided I believed in something but I wasn’t sure what it was. Agnostic was the label that I attached to myself.

The problem I have with God is all the suffering in the world. I know that Christians will argue to their deaths at this point and I have had lengthy debates with friends and colleagues about it. If there is a god then why do innocent people die, natural disasters happen etc. I am all for the ‘things happen for a reason’ theory and even for the whole idea that people have to die to keep the world’s population at bay, but some things I just can’t get my head round. Some really terrible things happen to good people and vice versa. And as for people praying on their way down from a plane crash?  I know I wouldn’t be. What good is that going to do? I would text loved ones if I could, talk to the loved one I was with or just spend it thinking about my life. I understand it is probably about control and that they need to feel they are doing something in an awful situation.

This is, again, why I like this idea of Buddhism. It all revolves around the idea of yourself And that is the only person we have any control over. If  we are postive, nice to peeople then we will feel calm and happy. I am all for postive thinking and I think it does work wonders. I am also interested in the law of karma that they talked about yesterday. If you do good things, you get good things. If you do something wrong, it will come round to teach you a lesson. I also believe in reincarnation. We come back as someone else depednning on how we acted in a previous life. Even though, I also like the idea of heaven so I am not sure how I feel about that. But I know that I definitly want to bellieve that something does happen after we die and it isn’t just it.

But that’s it for this post. I am happy to hear any views of different religions, as I say I am interested in all and am not completely sure what I believe in myself.

I am now going to eat my dinner, it will give me a calm, happy mind!

XSXS

Distance helps the mind stay saner….

Do you live with your parents? If yes, then I imagine you are too young to live alone, too poor or too lazy. Right? But the future objective is to move out right?! I should hope so unless you are a carer, need some sort of physical help yourself or a 40 year old mummy’s boy who hasn’t cut the apron strings yet. My point is, that we need some distance from people yeh?

The reason I have thought of this is because, today, my Mum text me saying that a close friend and neighbour of theirs was moving to a flat. Her first thought was to be sad about this, her second thought was to see which family member she could get to buy the house! She text my sister and her boyfriend (who are looking to buy their first house) if they were interested… me and my boyfriend… and also my Gran and Grandad as they need more help these days. My sister’s reaction was ‘oh don’t think I’m being funny but I wouldn’t want to live on the same road…’ I was not so polite and said ‘Bit close too you in’t it?!’ Haha. I wouldn’t want to live that close… we live in walking distance already (and to my boyfriend’s parents) and that is just right. Throwing distance is not. ‘Need a loaf Mum? Ok, just stand outside and I’ll throw one up!’  Nah, not for me. The other reason is that it would be odd to live in a house like the one I grew up in. I liked it and everything but the layout is the same and it would just be a bit weird. Like going back to my childhood but not in a good way. Plus I like having a dining room so that’s that house out…..besides we aren’t even looking for a new house, just my crazy Mum pulling her family closer!

If you think about neighbours for a second…. when they move away, they aren’t neighbours anymore are they? My mum’s neighbour, luckily, has also become a friend so I imagine they will stay in touch but otherwise they would become someone you saw on the street sometimes to talk about the ‘street’ you both once lived on. My neighbour, the old man who I used to help quite a lot, died last week. It was very sudden. He had deteriorated quickly and now he is no longer my neighbour.  But, again, he had become my friend too. He was just the right distance when he was alive. A few doors up so I could help him when he needed it. If he hadn’t been a neighbour, I probably would never had known him. I happened to bump into him one day after we moved in. The distance now though, is too vast, naturally.

In terms of distance, I’ve said, I live walking distance from our families so in the grand scheme of things I do like to be close. People move to different towns and cities and I get that in a way. They want a certain job, house or to live in a city. I just can’t imagine seeing family every few months or so many times a year or something. But we all need different things I guess.  So in that case, we all need a certain amount of distance to keep us sane.

My title, is obviously, a play on words from the original saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ Do you agree with this? I agree we need to be close to people and also away from them to stay sane, as I have said. Does being apart from loved ones though, make you want to be with them more? Maybe. I have friends and family from different countries. But they always live there so I don’t yearn for them regularly but when I do see them it is more intense. And of course we have months or years worth of things to talk about! In terms of romantic relationships, I think can distance can make it harder. I didn’t love my boyfriend any extra when I was away from him at Uni. I missed him more, yes. But we had a lot of trouble trying to keep us both happy – mainly because I am fond of more contact than he is and he is a man of very few words! I was more excited to see him at weekends, I guess. But you can say that about anything. How excited would you be to go on  holiday  if you hadn’t been on one in three years? How eager would you be to eat a chocolate bar if you hadn’t had one in months? How impatient would you be to go shopping if you had been poor all year? We all miss things that have been distanced from us.

Anyway, something to think about! I am going to keep my distance now and go. Night!

XSXS

Previous Older Entries