Distance helps the mind stay saner….

Do you live with your parents? If yes, then I imagine you are too young to live alone, too poor or too lazy. Right? But the future objective is to move out right?! I should hope so unless you are a carer, need some sort of physical help yourself or a 40 year old mummy’s boy who hasn’t cut the apron strings yet. My point is, that we need some distance from people yeh?

The reason I have thought of this is because, today, my Mum text me saying that a close friend and neighbour of theirs was moving to a flat. Her first thought was to be sad about this, her second thought was to see which family member she could get to buy the house! She text my sister and her boyfriend (who are looking to buy their first house) if they were interested… me and my boyfriend… and also my Gran and Grandad as they need more help these days. My sister’s reaction was ‘oh don’t think I’m being funny but I wouldn’t want to live on the same road…’ I was not so polite and said ‘Bit close too you in’t it?!’ Haha. I wouldn’t want to live that close… we live in walking distance already (and to my boyfriend’s parents) and that is just right. Throwing distance is not. ‘Need a loaf Mum? Ok, just stand outside and I’ll throw one up!’  Nah, not for me. The other reason is that it would be odd to live in a house like the one I grew up in. I liked it and everything but the layout is the same and it would just be a bit weird. Like going back to my childhood but not in a good way. Plus I like having a dining room so that’s that house out…..besides we aren’t even looking for a new house, just my crazy Mum pulling her family closer!

If you think about neighbours for a second…. when they move away, they aren’t neighbours anymore are they? My mum’s neighbour, luckily, has also become a friend so I imagine they will stay in touch but otherwise they would become someone you saw on the street sometimes to talk about the ‘street’ you both once lived on. My neighbour, the old man who I used to help quite a lot, died last week. It was very sudden. He had deteriorated quickly and now he is no longer my neighbour.  But, again, he had become my friend too. He was just the right distance when he was alive. A few doors up so I could help him when he needed it. If he hadn’t been a neighbour, I probably would never had known him. I happened to bump into him one day after we moved in. The distance now though, is too vast, naturally.

In terms of distance, I’ve said, I live walking distance from our families so in the grand scheme of things I do like to be close. People move to different towns and cities and I get that in a way. They want a certain job, house or to live in a city. I just can’t imagine seeing family every few months or so many times a year or something. But we all need different things I guess.  So in that case, we all need a certain amount of distance to keep us sane.

My title, is obviously, a play on words from the original saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ Do you agree with this? I agree we need to be close to people and also away from them to stay sane, as I have said. Does being apart from loved ones though, make you want to be with them more? Maybe. I have friends and family from different countries. But they always live there so I don’t yearn for them regularly but when I do see them it is more intense. And of course we have months or years worth of things to talk about! In terms of romantic relationships, I think can distance can make it harder. I didn’t love my boyfriend any extra when I was away from him at Uni. I missed him more, yes. But we had a lot of trouble trying to keep us both happy – mainly because I am fond of more contact than he is and he is a man of very few words! I was more excited to see him at weekends, I guess. But you can say that about anything. How excited would you be to go on  holiday  if you hadn’t been on one in three years? How eager would you be to eat a chocolate bar if you hadn’t had one in months? How impatient would you be to go shopping if you had been poor all year? We all miss things that have been distanced from us.

Anyway, something to think about! I am going to keep my distance now and go. Night!

XSXS

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