One plus one equals two….

The One…….

The one who….. makes you laugh.
The one who… hugs you.
The one who… kisses you.

The one who… understands you.
The one who… is patient with you.
The one who… thinks you are funny.

The one who…. debates with you.
The one who… has the same interest or passion.
The one who…flirts with you.
The one who….needs you.

Why must one person complete us? Does it take one person to complete another? The whole concept of just one person providing all social and emotional needs for the rest of our lives is not only highly unachievable, yet also very unrealistic. People go on about searching for ‘the one’ and may end up being married three times. Does that mean the first two weren’t important? We connect with people at certain times of our life and each one can be  ‘the one’ for you at that given time. I’m not saying that the above phrases mean that we should all be romantically involved with many people who can give us all of these qualities – but I just mean it is OK if other people meet these needs in addition to a romantic partner.

 I like to think of myself as romantic but maybe I am a short-term romantic. An in the moment romantic. I like to do nice things for my boyfriend, celebrate certain dates, spoil him sometimes etc. But all this  ‘we are destined to be together forever and ever…’ well I am not sure. Some people need to believe that in order to feel secure in the relationship. I hope that we will be together forever but I only want us to be if we are happy. Nobody can see into the future, so no point in worrying about our romantic, future destinies. We don’t need to have met ‘the one for life’ in order to be happy in the present.

‘I don’t want to be your other half,
I believe that one and one make two…’

Alanis Morrisette seems to have  hit the nail on the head, saying that as an individual we are complete and once we find a partner; there are two of us! It is quite simple mathematics really! I think we need many ‘ones’ in our lives…..made up of romantic partners (only one at a time though – I’m not saying bigamy is OK 😉 ), family and friends.

Don’t put pressure on yourself or your relationships… enjoy them all and live life to the full 😉

XSXS

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. indytony
    Apr 11, 2013 @ 21:24:45

    Great insights.

    I have a similar, yet slightly different take…

    Many people are looking for some one to be the One who completes them.
    Many others are trying to turn some one into the One who completes them.
    There is One who completes us (though many people don’t believe this).

    Until we stop trying to turn various ones we meet and dream of into the One who completes us, we are bound to be unfulfilled.

    Thanks for your wisdom and the opportunity to share.

    Reply

    • Sam Gray
      Apr 12, 2013 @ 14:03:30

      yes interesting, I agree that someone try and make people into who they need them to be. I’m not sure though that someone else should complete us though – not if we are happy and secure in ourselves anyway. But I guess many people aren’t.

      But I guess if there is such thing as the ‘one’ for you then you will know about it.

      Thanks for commenting! It is an interesting concept I think. x

      Reply

  2. Tina Holmes
    Apr 13, 2013 @ 06:20:10

    I certainly agree you can’t depend on one person for all the social and emotional needs you may have but I do believe you can meet “the one” who you expect to spend the rest of your life with. However this one person is not the answer to all things in yor life you do need other relationships as well – same sex ones, different sex ones (platonic but still special,) family ones, friend ones, younger and older ones…. and the whole lot fits together to give you lots of “ones” that answer different needs. Still, at the end of all the interactions with my other significant or sometimes casual “ones,” I do like to go back to my “One.”

    Reply

    • Sam Gray
      Apr 15, 2013 @ 18:02:15

      Yeh I agree that we need all sorts of relationships and that’s a good way of putting it. I guess, I was mainly referring to the fact that we shouldn’t look for ‘one’ person to complete us; but should be complete already! Has Ged seen this yet then? 😉

      Reply

  3. David Mulgrew
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 21:22:28

    I very much like the bit from cool runnings where coach tells Reece, If your not enough without it then you will never be enough with it.

    I really like this phrase. If your not a whole person without your lover then you will never be complete with them. I think this is linked to why so many people get divorced these days. Too many people tend to chase the one who will complete them and the Romantic dream of Marriage. Then after getting married the reality hits them and they find out they are still not complete.

    I also think you can never get all your necessary social interaction form one person. Human beings tend to feel trapped when placed in any consistent situation. This leaves them feeling like they are in a kind of prison and can drive a wedge between couples. Tanya and I both make a point to see our friends separately. I think its good for you to spend some time apart.

    I spend approximately two nights a week out with the lads without Tanya. i do still miss her though. In fact since due to some random recent events we haven’t seen a lot of each other recently I invited her to come with me next time.

    Reply

    • Sam Gray
      Apr 23, 2013 @ 18:08:54

      Yep, you need relationships with all sorts of people to make your romantic one work — some people don’t get this and, like you say, results in divorce!

      Reply

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