Cardiff: Clucking Great!

This bank holiday weekend, I have been a hen. It was my first hen do and I was very pleased to say that it was fantastic and I loved the fact that it was to celebrate the upcoming marriage of a close friend. (see previous post Two hearts, Two rings to see how the engagement started ūüėČ https://samanthagray9.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/two-hearts-two-rings/) We went to Cardiff for 3 days and it was fantastic, varied and mainly just filled with girly fun!

I’ve always thought the term ‘hen’ is odd. And men get ‘stag’ – I won’t go on my feminist rant and say that we get the timid, feathered, two-legged bird that people eat on regular basis and men get a four-legged, strong beast of animal. I do wonder about the origin though. And if women are called ‘hens’ then why aren’t men called cockerels?! That is way more fitting for me ūüėČ ………just googled it quick and the term ‘hen’ has been used since the 1800s to talk about a female gathering of ‘chit-chat’. It doesn’t say why a hen; I am getting an idea from the cluck clucking of chatter perhaps? ‘Stag’ comes from the 1930s apparently when short pornographic films called ‘stag movies’ were shown to men when one of them was about to be married. Odd. There is also a term ‘hag’ parties,’ where both ‘hens’ and ‘stags’ attend. Messy. We got into enough mischief just us hens.

We spent the weekend in personalised black and pink T-shirts with the details on the hen do and our own nickname. Mine was ‘Samubuca!’ Pink sashes completed the look and I must say now I’m home, my clothes feel boring ūüėČ We had Grease dances lessons where we learnt a dance routine to Grease mega mix. That was fun and I was the hen getting picked on for my lack of coordination and rhythm¬†ūüėČ ¬†We then had cocktails making lessons (cocktails is another work I’ve always pondered about but I’ll leave that for another day!) and to our delight the ‘Dream boys’ were practising for a routine at the same time. Dancing, alcohol and er ‘hunky’ men – what more could we have asked for?

A spa day perhaps, which was secretly my favourite bit. I had never been to one before and I thought it was great! You walk round in a robe and slippers and dip in and out of the pool, Jacuzzi, steam room, sauna and then lie in a relaxation room! I also got my nails done, whilst the other hens mainly had massages. The place was so relaxing and it was the calm before the storm of our night out – but it did remind me¬†a little of an insane asylum (not that I am familiar with them or anything)¬† but think about it. The place is full of this calm air, people walk round in white robes and everyone in smiling insanely and whispering! And I don’t think I have ever eaten a posh two course meal with pink champagne in a dressing-gown before and still managed to feel glamorous and like royalty! Crazy place and I can’t wait to go to another one!

The evening consisted of a limo ride – this time we had all clothes on – more champagne, games and dares! The limo then dropped us at a lovely Italian restaurant and our dares were to be completed within the first hour of being in the first bar. I didn’t ‘chicken’ out of mine ūüėČ and I proudly and drunkenly stood on a chair in the crowded bar and did¬†the ‘robot’ dance’ haha! The two ‘pain killer’ cocktails I had helped with this! My friend also did a dare and successfully got a man’s underwear and put¬†them on herself! But that’s all you’re getting….. anything else is wrapped up in the term ‘What happened in Cardiff, stays in Cardiff!’ ūüėČ

I fully recommend Cardiff for a stag or hen do – or hag do! We stayed at a travel lodge on Mary Street. It was on the busiest street and it was like we had a club in our room – which didn’t really work when we wanted some sleep the first eve before our big night out the 2nd night! But the double-glazed windows did us proud and I was out like a light and had a clucking good sleep ūüėČ Don’t stay at this hotel if you want a nice, quiet weekend of sight-seeing though ūüėČ Because the only sights you will see and hear are gangs of hens and stags out in full force with pink sashes or dressed as Tony the Tiger – you decide which is which!

Here is a poem I wrote for the occasion too:

Cardiff Chaos

Lou’s hen do is upon us,

We’re meeting at half 8,

A weekend of surprises,

But where the hell is Kate?

Sarah’s got her T-shirt,

Sian’s got her willy straw,

Tore and Karen all aboard,

For laughs and drinks galore!

We’re ready for the first bit,

Lou’s got her dancing shoes,

Grease lightening time ahead,

But all Sam wants is booze!

Loz is in there getting pics,

as Sadie and Chris dance away,

The shots then keep on coming,

‚ÄėDown it‚Äô …we all obey!

Feeling rough the next morning,

Camilla slurps her tea,

But we’re all out early again,

For Princess Lou’s next activity.

Then Monday is now here,

Fantastic hen weekend done,

Nic’s done a brilliant job,

Hope the wedding is as fun!

Writing this ahead of time was a bit of a jinx. But it did all happen and go to plan. Brilliant weekend!

XSXS

A Dry Month

Well, it has been a dry month for me. I know, you are thinking: ‘What?! It’s rained loads and now snow is on the way! It is nothing but dry!’ Yes, indeed the weather had been full of fluid, wet precipitation. My mouth has only seen liquid of the non-alcoholic kind though ūüė¶ . I mentioned in a previous post that¬† I am doing a Dry-athlon. This means that I can’t touch alcohol for the whole of January. It also means that I am helping to drink all the extra water that we have upon our hands; as normally I would be drinking wine instead ūüėČ

I’ve managed the first week OK. When I say ‘OK’, I mean that I have eaten more chocolate and cake than usual in order to have an alternative ‘treat’ and every time we have a nice dinner, I have cranberry juice in a wine glass¬† – just so I can pretend ;-). It also turns out that I can be ‘drunk’ without alcohol. I am silly due to my personality apparently!

But in all seriousness, I am managing and as much as it sounds like it, I am NOT an alcoholic! If I was, you would be the first to know ūüėČ It is quite nice actually to¬† not have hangovers. Being the designated driver, too, means that you know how and when you are getting home! Luckily though, I don’t have any big nights out this month because I don’t think I could do the whole dancing without a big drink.¬†I just feel too aware of myself and like I’m all limbs! So, I’ll save the dancing for inside my living room, curtains firmly closed with a wine glass of¬† juice in my hand. ūüôā

Now, here comes the predictive and annoying bit. The Dry-athlon¬†is in aid of Cancer Research. I have not registered myself but I am doing the deed as part of a team with my sister and uncle’s wife so I would appreciate it if any of you could spare the odd ¬£1 – like when you don’t have that shot before leaving the bar – of if you go for that single rather than the double – or you just like giving to a good cause! Then click the links below and Cancer Research will benefit from my dry, dry month! ūüėÄ

http://www.justgiving.com/dryathlete-emily-gray2013

http://www.justgiving.com/dryathlete-cheryl-tagg

Also take a look at the crazy people doing this challenge and more info about it:https://www.facebook.com/#!/Dryathlon

Are any of you out there doing it? Finding it hard?

Thanks to any of you that do give and Good Luck to anyone doing it! Only 22 days to go ūüėČ

XSXS

Decluttering those January blues…..

January is always a month for decluttering. I would go as far as saying that we all declutter, in some way. I am a¬†huge fan of the declutter¬†and of the new year as a whole. It is like everything is wiped clean. A new start. A blank canvas. Even if you had a great year the previous year (as I did), it is still nice to reset the clock and see what can happen in the New Year. Bye bye to Christmas and hello to resolutions, cutting back on food and money and the thought of bad weather. Very depressing when you think of it like that. I like to put my whole positive spin it, though. It can be a chilled month if we choose.¬† No crazy Christmas meals and parties every weekend that we feel obliged to attend. Yes, we have to go back to work but I think that, in some form, we all need a routine too. I begin to crave the normality of a working day – because chilling in front of the TV with a cuppa just isn’t special when you’ve done it for a week is it? After a working day, you feel you have earned it. Also, you don’t need to scrap and save for Christmas presents and¬†you hopefully have enough food and drink to live off for¬†a while, so leave the pennies in your pocket. No rushing around the shops either¬†to get Christmas goodies – unless you are like me and actually like sale shopping!

But the best part about January¬†is, as my first point states, is¬†the decluttering. I said we all do it in some way – you may just physically put the Christmas rubbish out and load the empties into the recycling¬†bin¬†after New Year’s Eve ūüėČ but doesn’t it feel great when you get rid of something you don’t need? I am a huuuge¬†fan of the declutter. I have spent my day doing it today. Decluttering¬†the house at first. As much as I love having my Christmas trees and decs¬†up, (and I must admit I had a pang of disappointment just as I realised I couldn’t put my tree lights on in the looming darkness) I do love it when the house is, once again, de-christmased. Last night, after spending the day hungover, I suddenly had the urge to take everything santa related down. The cards, the tinsel, the trees. And I did. I figured, I may not get the ‘urge’ again until I am back at work so I did it all. Then today, I have had a clear out of clothes, underwear, toiletries, make-up and present packaging (what is with all the plastic?!). I also got onto enviro-phone.com and sold my old mobile phone – I got ¬£27 (which will now buy me a new mp3 player that I lost in: https://samanthagray9.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/a-stupid-free-christmas-day/.¬†It felt good to remove unwanted things to make space for the new, wanted things.

At this time of year, I also declutter¬†my mind. I try and¬†let go of things that have bothered me and I try to¬†get a positive¬†mind about returning to work. I also make resolutions. I do this every year and make quite a few. I think we can always self-improve. I don’t mean this in a way that if we keep doing this then in a few years we will be perfect. No. I just think there is always something we can do to increase our quality of life. But there are two BUTs to this. My boyfriend’s brother just said one on his Facebook update: You have to know how you can achieve it. And secondly, you have to want to do it.

This year, mine are:

  • To continue with this blog (whoop, so far so good)
  • To finish my book ( this has now been one for two years¬† – so I must do this)
  • Write more poems/short stories
  • Read more and use Book Lover’s Diary (https://samanthagray9.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/a-book-lovers-post/)
  • Give alcohol up¬†for January
  • Give up chocolate for Lent ( I do this every year)
  • Walk/swim/gym three times a week
  • See friends I haven’t seen for a while (friend in France and University friends)
  • Remember all birthdays! (I’m normally pretty good but occasionally one sneaks up on me and I feel awful)
  • Not get so impatient and annoyed by trivial things (my boyfriend is very excited by this one!)

Yes, there are a lot but I think they all very achievable. And look at it¬†this way, by making a list of them then you have a higher hope of doing at least one ūüėČ

So yes, there are a couple of resolutions that will aid with the decluttering¬†process. Giving up alcohol is my main one. My uncle’s wife said she was doing a Dryathalon. I was intrigued and, at first, I must admit I thought it was something related to the recent floods we have had! But no, it is to not drink alcohol for January. (I will share more details in a future post.) I thought this would be a good way to give my body a break after all the indulgence. I can’t do food yet as there are still too many goodies in the house! Alcohol, I will do though and I even poured some open wine away earlier as a weird, cleansing ceremony! ūüėČ I have 7 birthdays this month, my anniversary and my sister’s graduation – so all the more challenging! It’s all in aid of Cancer research¬†and I am going to do it! All in aid of the delcuttering, too, of course ūüėČ

The regular readers with an eye for detail will also notice¬†I have decluttered¬†my blog slightly – I changed my tag line to ‘Life: the serious and the silly…’ I wanted something minimalistic, simple and that reflects all the random topics I talk about. Everything comes under silly and serious in some way I feel ūüėČ

So January is good because I have/or I am going to declutter:

  1. the house
  2. my mind
  3. my body
  4. my blog
  5. and my life!

I imagine by March things will all be cluttered again because even though I have these mad clear outs, deep down I am a secret hoarder¬†ūüėČ but shhhhh….

Happy decluttering!

XSXS

 

 

It’s a Party and I’ll Analyse if I want to….

It is the party season, as we call it. We celebrate with work parties, christmas parties, family parties and it got me thinking of all the meanings of the word ‘party’. Of course there is the political party – which really is no fun, but like a social party could probably be improved with some alcohol! In this case, it is just a gathering of people then. Is this loosely what a party is?

This weekend, I am going to two parties. Both christmas parties, but one is at a rowing club and one is at an old people’s home. I thought to myself, ‘When¬†did my life get this odd?!’ The rowing one is an annual one and we celebrate with all the rowers and partners at my boyfriend’s rowing club. To look a little more closely at the party it is actually 40 odd local sports men and women sitting eating buffet food in a small wooden building! It is fun though and luckily so many people come and generously, in addition to food, give body heat so it isn’t too cold! As for the party at the old people’s home, I am not sure yet! It will be my first but since my Grandad is now at one, we are going to it. I’ve heard there is food and raffle so should be similar to the rowing one but just with a different party of people!

I have also, this week, had two work parties. They were¬†meals in town though and even though we referred to them as department ‘meals’ they are still classed as the generic ‘work christmas party’. Very nice meals and company. But miles apart from a ‘house’ party full of spilt drinks and fumbled snogging¬†til the early hours. Over the holiday period we will be having an ‘after’ party at ours¬†after our annual pub eve – where everyone we know meets at the same pub and we all get very merry in the name of Christmas. Our ‘after’ party is pretty much¬†a place to go to when the pub is closed and we have boozingly eaten take-away food and are ready to begin drinking again!

We will also have a New Year’s Eve party and in the sense of the word this is what I think of as a typical ‘party’. People will turn up with booze and food (I hope) we will chat, dance, play silly drunken games and eat various food and drink some really weird drinks. Guests will then ‘crash’ and stay over after the party has finally fizzled at 3am (ish). The then next day because it will then be morning it is no longer called a party but we will all have a lovely hungover fry-up breakfast together! To me that is part of the party really and has become part of the tradition just as much as the alcohol and silly antics.

As a final mention there are Tupperware parties (or there were in the 80s) that have now been replaced with Ann Summer’s parties or Body Shop or Avon parties, which let’s face it exist because they combine women’s favourite things of wine, chatting, laughter and shopping (and sex in the Ann Summer’s case!). Maybe any kinds of social gathering that we enjoy, we call a party. It makes it sounds more fun doesn’t it? Would you like to come round for an Ann Summer’s eve? Nah, not the same. It has to be party.

So yes different kinds of parties all make up our party holiday season. They all differ for other reasons too. Like which music we are into, how many friends we have, what food we have in, how much money we have, what mood we are in…. but if friends and family are there and we having a good time, then who cares what kind of party it is?!

So enjoy partying this Christmas and remember ‘Nobody¬†looks back on their life and remembers the nights that they got lots of sleep!’ ūüėČ

XSXS

Christmas Spirit

I do love an old spirit pun at this time of year. I am planning to put up decorations this week so I felt in the spirit to write this poem. It took me 5 mins so it’s a bit sketchy but sometimes I just like to write something straight out without editing.
Christmas Spirit
We only have four weeks to go,
until that special day,
presents to buy and food to get,
’til ‘Merry Christmas’ we say!
It can be a little stressful,
so you need to stay ‘with it’
so get out Baileys or vodka,
and get in the Christmas spirit!
Believe me, with a glass in hand, you feel much more like getting the decorations out or writing those christmas cards!
XSXS

Come Wine with Me

I am very lucky to have not one, but two, groups of very close girly mates.¬† And guess¬†what? They ply me with wine and cook for me sometimes too! I love having different groups of mates. last friday I had a girly night out with one group and we went to a Rock club (see Not Sloshed enough to Mosh?) Last night, I spent it with my other girly group (who are ex-colleagues and we have stayed close friends). We sort of do a Come Dine with Me evenings… you must have seen the programme Come Dine with Me? Each of us take a turn to cook….. except it doesn’t happen within a week but normally months apart and we don’t particularly score each¬†other but I think we should! I then started doing this with my rocker friends girl group and I am going to one of them next weekend. So yes, all yummy food and wine and chatter… Mmmmmm…

Last night, my friends did tapas and a paella. We try to do a theme each time. No prizes for guessing that last night’s was Spanish. It was yummy and much wine was drank. The chatter focussed around our friend who is engaged (see Two hearts, Two rings). She even tried on our host’s wedding dress from years ago in between the main course and dessert! See, just ike the programme where they nosey round each other’s houses and¬† try on random outfits!

One of our most memorable Come Dine with Me’s was a few years ago and we went to one friend’s flat and she cooked us a Mexican menu. It was great, we had fajitas, enchiladas, nachos etc. We even had creme caramels¬†and we had a game to see if anyone could suck a whole one up in one go! I failed miserably! We even made our clothes match the food that night and we came dressed Mexican themed! We had plastic toy guns,¬† a sombrero (borrowed from the Language department at school!), some tequila (for prop use only of course!) and moustaches to add a final touch. We all looked hilarious! Too hilarious to stay in a flat all night. After much wine and few tequilas, we decided that our outfits had to be shared with the world (well in our little town) so we went out to a bar. We got much attention as we were really five women dressed as moustached¬†men! I tell you, I have never had so much male¬†attention on my life!! I think it was the whole ‘up for a laugh’ attitude we clearly had and we clearly couldn’t¬†care less what people thought of us! The alcohol helped with that though. I may¬†have cared a bit if I was sober or in day light! It was a very funny night and one of those nights that are so brilliant just because it wasn’t planned and totally spur of the moment (well the bar bit!)

so don’t just come dine with me. Come and wine with me. Dance with me. And be a drunken Mexican with me!

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Not Sloshed enough to Mosh?

Afternoon people, you may have noticed that I didn’t publish anything yesterday. I’ve decided that I am going to fight the guilty feeling from this and not go into this whole ‘apology’ spiel when I don’t manage to post anything. It’s boring for me to write and boring for you to read. Sometimes, I don’t get as much time as I would like and as good as my life is…. I don’t always have something fascinating to write about! So, I would, on occasion, rather write no post than a rubbish post – again better for me and better for you ūüėČ

Anyway, last night I went on a girls’ night out. We had fun with drink, laughter, banter etc and then we ended up in a ‘rock’ club. Not my thing at all and I thought I would share my thoughts with you. I am not opposed to ‘rock’ music as such. I like a lot of the mainstream stuff such as Green Day, Sum 41, Blink 182 and all that. I know some of you out there will be like ‘that’s not Rock but something more specific like …. I dunno… I can’t even think of¬†anything else except Indie and I wouldn’t categorise¬†them as that. That’s the point though isn’t it? All this categorising¬†is a pain…. I just like what I like, no matter what the particular ‘genre’ is. For the sake of this post, I will use the term ‘rock’ loosely depending on how individuals view it.

Why did we end up in this ‘Rock’ place? Well, two of my girl mates are true Rockers at heart. They always come to the mainstream places with me and my other, cheesy pop loving night out, friend. Last night, we had agreed for it to be a belated celebration of the two rockers’ birthdays and when their faces drooped when we went into our usual club, I thought – ‘oh, we need to take one for the team and go to Mosh.’ Mosh is the name of the Rock club you see. So off we went….. to the Dark Side……

I’d had a few drinks but nothing like last weekend (see my post Mixing Drink with More Drink). This was when I thought, ‘I am not sloshed enough for Mosh’ Haha. We walked in and there was a smell. Of sweat mixed with stale sick. Yuk. The music was loud. I know, I know, I sound old. I felt it too at times… as just like we went out for Dirty Thursday (See posts Getting Down and Dirty with the Teenagers part 1 and 2) there was a lot of teenagers out. It was too early for Fresher’s Week but we thought¬†that maybe the 2nd and 3rd year students had come back early to party – or mosh. Anyway, yes the music was ear bleeding, heart pounding loud. The good news was – I knew the first song!!!! Motivation by Sum 41! Oh yes. I thought maybe I would like it in there afterall…… trouble was, I didn’t know the next 20 songs that followed!!!!¬† I thought maybe if I was drunker, I would have happily danced away anyway. I also wouldn’t have been so conscious of sticking out like¬†a naked person in a sea of appropriately¬†dressed people. Except, I wasn’t feeling under dressed¬†but the opposite. In my little blue and white polka dress, black heels, pretty jewellery, I felt a bit out of place! I felt like I was wearing a huge banner on the back of my dress saying: ‘I don’t belong here – my friends dragged me!’ Haha.

The place had three floors and we seemed¬†to spend the first half an hour walking from one to the other to find the ‘right’ one for us. Quite frankly there was no ‘pop’ floor so I wasn’t really bothered! I knew a few more songs later on but just not enough. It made me think how important music is to a night out. You need to know the songs as they keep you motivated to keep going until the early hours. You get all excited when a song comes on you know and the next few minutes goes by in seconds¬†as you eagerly¬†await your next favourite tune. This is how it was for my two Rocker friends. They have always been into this music since school. They used to dress in real rocker clothes too and one used to have dreadlocks and one had pink hair at one point too! They were called ‘grebs’ or ‘grunges’ back then. They used to drag us to this shop where they could buy their flared, bright coloured corded jeans, skull T-shirts and so on. Me and my other mate joked that this was the closest we had ever come to smoking weed – second hand – because the place stunk of the stuff!! Ha. So yes, last night they had the time of their lives. So it was worth it – I guess ūüėČ

So for a night out, you need good music or if not, more alcohol!! ūüėČ

See you tomorrow (hopefully!)

XSXS

Mixing your drink… with more drink!

Hello everyone, I must start¬†off with an apology. I didn’t post anything new yesterday! I know, shameful. And on a saturday when I had no work to do. I was annoyed at myself because I had managed to post something everyday up til then and every day of my first week back at work – even the day I had my pounding headache! Ok, my excuse is this. We went to a BBQ in the afternoon, at like 3pm. I figured that we would be back mid-evening since we were going so early… Mmmm¬†turns out we got in at 11ish¬†and I wasn’t in a suitable state to do¬†most things, especially blog! So apologies for that. I will fill you in on all the gossip from last night to make up for it. ūüėČ

I am pleased to say that I started the afternoon on water… see I was sensible – to begin with! I soon began the pouring of the wine though as the food sizzled on the BBQ. Mmmm¬†a nice chilled, crisp white wine contrasted with a hot, juicy burger. Yum. Went down very nicely I can tell you. We also had hot dogs, salmon, potatoes and salad. There is something special about eating outside isn’t there? Especially in September, like we are living on borrowed summer time. Or it is a reward for the mainly rainy summer we did have. We chatted as we ate the al fresco food and soon a fly zapper¬†was brought out that seemed the entertain the males for quite a while. It was tennis racket shaped and zapped and insect that it hit. The lads, naturally, tried to get each other¬†with it… on the face, head, arms, legs etc… boys will be boys! My boyfriend soon tired of this though and then tried to kill spiders with it. I think we could do with one at home since I hate the eight legged monsters! We heard little bangs as the poor spiders fried against the zapper, causing much laughter. Things get funnier… the more you drink right?

Well things got hilarious later on! We were asked if we wanted a¬†blow job. No.. don’t worry, it’s not one of those blogs. I don’t mean that sort. I mean the cocktail! I had never tried it before and my boyfriend’s twin brother wanted to make us all one. Here’s the recipe for those who would like to experience a blow job at a party ūüėČ

Blow Job

  1. Pour one measure of Creme de Menthe into a small glass (we also used Blue Curacao and Cointreau but they may have different, just as rude names)
  2. Use a tea-spoon (someone recommended to turn it over) to allow one measure of Baileys to be poured slowly into the glass. So hold the spoon in the glass over the creme de menthe and pour the Baileys over it slowly. This is so it settles on top.
  3. You should have a two-layered drink and then down it in one – and make sure you swallow, not spit ūüėČ
Get your tongue round that ūüėČ

Since we had gone into ‘mixing’ mode of drinks.. we decided to play a drinking game with a ‘dirty pint’ in the middle. For those of you who do not know what this is, it’s basically¬†a mixture of what everyone is drinking. Unfortunately, we all have different tastes so there was all sorts¬†in there! Gin, wine, champagne, beer, cider, martini and Baileys. Bleurgh. We played Ring of Fire. You have a circle of cards, the full pack, in the middle of the table. Everyone takes it in turn to pick a card – and you mustn’t break the circle, which naturally gets harder as you go on. Every number and picture card means something different. For example ‘six’ means ‘dicks’ so all the men drink. ‘Fours’ means ‘whores’ (another form of positive¬†terms for women I see!) so all the women drink. I am quite impressed I have remembered as much as I have actually for saying how full of blow jobs and martinis I was by this point! Occasionally, someone has to take punishments and drink from the ‘dirty pint’ in the middle and the last person has to finish it¬† – which surprise, surprise was me!! It was very curdled by that point, disgusting! Another rule was to not say the word ‘drink’. Being a drinking game and all, I tended to say it a lot – the more I drank, the more I said it! Also another rule when you pick an ‘eight’ is to choose a ‘mate’, who has to drink whenever you do. My poor friend, had to drink whenever I did, haha! Very much fun.

Yes, mixing drinks is always my downfall and I have paid for it today. Even in my 26th year and after three years of university drinking culture, I have not learnt this valuable lesson.¬†I get bored and change my drink and I bow to peer pressure and ‘down it’ when told to! And of course the drinking games you cannot survive without consuming many different alcohols – well at least I can’t!

So learn from my mistakes and avoid mixing blow jobs with wine – and you can tell your boyfriends and husbands¬†my advice too ūüėČ

Have a good evening!

XSXS

Adding Fuel to the Feminist Fire

Hiya¬†People…. today I am going to risk alienating half of my audience (or at the least males, however many that is) and I want to talk about Feminism. Wait, wait listen up; there is a reason for this. When me and some friends visited our gay friends last night, this topic came up in conversation. By the way I am going to refer to one of the friends as Gay Best Friend (GBF) as he has particularly asked me to do this… and he is anyway; I’ve been very good friends with him since school and every girls needs a GBF¬†like she does shoes, chocolate and a feminist tattoo… oh wait the tattoo bit is just me. (shhh don’t tell!)

Anyway, we were out for dinner and my GBF was telling a story and happened to say ‘He is a Male Whore.’ Now, I can’t reveal who he is on¬†about and the rose wine was flowing so to be honest, I’m not even sure I can remember! But the term ‘Male Whore’ sat wrongly with me immediately¬†anyway. I challenged this and said why did he feel the need to add ‘Male’ onto a word that can mean the same for both genders? This led onto why men get called positive terms such as ‘studs’ and ‘bachelors’ but women get all the negative words.. and this is what I was saying that by adding ‘man’ or ‘male’ onto one of the terms we are saying that the word should normally be associated with women. What do you think of this? I’d love to hear some thoughts…

So me and my GBF¬†began a huuuge¬†debate whilst the other four friends at the table listened¬†(some with interest and I think some were thinking ‘What the hell have you started you whore?!) I revisited¬†my University lectures on Anglo-American and French feminist theories and remembered the argument about the word ‘History’. I am not saying I agree with this bit but I do find it interesting. Some feminists believe that History is like ‘his – story’ and why should it be studied from or be the man’s perspective. I think this is a step too far and my GBF¬†had some interesting insights into this. He knows various languages such as German, French, Swedish and some bits of others. He said that the¬†pronoun ‘he’ or ‘his’ doesn’t¬†always translate into the male gender in all languages and the word ‘history’ comes from latin and the ‘his’ part was actually translated as ‘it’, which in the word ‘history’ gives it no specific gender relation. I think¬†I remembered all this correctly after my few glasses of wine!

We actually stepped outside to continue our conversation after a while… partly to stop the others getting bored and wanting to kill one person off of each gender and also partly because my GBF¬†wanted to smoke and he didn’t want his boyfriend to know… see men can’t even tell other men what to do! ūüėČ hehe..and sorry GBF¬†for ‘outing’ your smoking habits! We went onto to discuss the word ‘woman’ and is this just the word ‘man’ with the prefix of ‘womb’ on it? My GBF¬†looked from the other side¬†and said that ‘man’ originally meant both genders and that women are lucky to have their own term, whereas men are stuck with the neutral one… well it’s the least we can have after years of not being able to vote!! We¬†also humorously discovered that my name ‘Samantha’ has the word ‘man’ in it and¬†I joked that I couldn’t have that and said my friends should now call me ‘Satha’.

Other topics discussed were when babies are born and they are immediately¬†gendered by being dressed in ‘blue’ or ‘pink’ and this is where my GBF’s¬†boyfriend joined in, who is a psychiatric doctor, and said we wouldn’t believe how much is already biologically determined and even if boys play with Barbie¬†dolls, they may do it in a rough and tumble way and still be determined¬†to be masculine and straight. My point to this was that the individual¬†should be able to choose and parents shouldn’t worry that their¬†girls will be tomboys¬†or their boys dressed in pink with¬†be feminine and gay… because there are a lot of things that determine it anyway. And before you all scream at me, there should’nt be a problem if they¬†were any of those things anyway.

So yes, that was our alcohol fuelled Fancy Friday chatter (my GBF called it Fancy Friday in contrast to our Dirty Thursday¬†due to the contrast that we began the evening by looking round their¬†three storey¬†pad and sipping champagne!) and I realise that this post today has been a lot less light-hearted than the previous ones and to what I have promised, but I’m sorry but sometimes my tattoo burns like Harry Potter’s scar and I have to release all these thoughts. There is no offense meant by any of the above ideas and I don’t completely agree with them all and if anyone has anything to add to the debate then go ahead….

Finally… at the end of the night…… I burnt my bra:

Haha just kidding! This is the remains of the shed that I wanted to share with you! I told you how it got taken to my boyfriend’s brother’s house. Well he didn’t want the roof so we burnt it! and now it has all gone yay!! So no, I didn’t burn my bra, just the remains of the shed….

Now ladies, off you go to wash up ūüėČ

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Down and Dirty with the Teenagers (Part 2)

Hey people… I’ve discovered since I’ve started writing a blog, that I can longer talk to people! Yesterday, I kept saying to friends and family ‘Ooh this happened yesterday…’ and they interrupted with; ‘Yes I know, I read it in your blog!’ So I no longer need to talk it seems. It made me realise wy I wanted to write a blog in the first place and that is because I simply love story telling. I love telling people about funny things that happen to me or annoying things¬†and getting opinions. So I suppose one good thing is that I don’t have to repeat myself by telling each person now..because that is what I would have done. But I’m not sure how I feel about this yet because what am I now going to talk about? Another worrying thing is that every night last week, my boyfriend walked in and said ‘How was your day?’¬† My response¬†was to hurry him to the laptop and read my blog! I am hoping that this is because I am still excited about the novelty of the blog and face to screen isn’t going to be our new form of communication! It seems it is now a war between the written and spoken word….

My mates, though, may appreciate¬†a detailed write-up¬†about ‘the night before’…. mmm¬†or maybe not actually! And of course this isn’t that reliable because i¬†may not be able to remember everything! I am hung over a bit yes and also a little tired but I will try my best to recreate the atmosphere of Dirty Thursday.¬†There was firstly wine and chatter before we actually¬†went to the dirty town. One of my friends was deciding which one of us he would call on for advice about certain things. One dilemma he suggested was ‘If I fell down the stairs and landed on a Hoover¬†(vacuum) nozzle, what would I do?’ He decided on one friend who would have the best words of wisdom in this situation and her response was ‘Turn on the Hoover!’ So yes, this is the thrilling conversations we have after a few drops of alcohol. We also discussed by some dustbins were dark brown and some light brown (I started this one!) and also why certain people leave the caps off the toothpaste (in our household, I do and we have to have two separate toothpastes!).

In the first pub, there was black vodka… a whole new experience for me and one that I’ll blame the hangover on…. Glitter Bombs (which I still insist taste like carrot cake!) and more normal vodka and a rainbow of shots! Bleurgh. I found it amusing¬†in one place that there was a sign up¬†saying ‘J Bombs’.. students were too lazy for Jaegermeister¬†so it became Jaegar Bombs.. and now they can’t even say that so it’s ‘J Bombs’… I know it’s hard to hear in these bars and gets busy but still!

Oh, I tried to use my¬†student discount to get into a club and was met with the response from the bouncer ‘It’s already a student night, what more do you want??’ Haha, so I tried and sadly my student card expired at¬†midnight, so that’s the end of that!

There was also dancing… and I have a Dance-ometer. Zero alcohol means I occasionally¬†will dance but I feel stiff and weird. Too much alcohol and I fall over mid dance. Last night, I was somewhere in between, which was probably perfect for the Dirty evening. I was dancing in a bar, with and without friends and using various pointing finger gestures… I blame the black vodka! My mates enjoyed a good¬†old dance and linking back to the student days that I mentioned yesterday.. it’s funny because our dancing becomes much more animated and enthusiastic¬†when songs come on from sixth form/university. Fat Man Scoop came on and this always reminds me of the sixth form common room so we has some very lively bopping¬†to that one and then the song changed to something I don’t know and I shuffle my feet about slightly, decide it’s a good time to go the loo, get some water or rest my shoe rubbing feet. Then Mr Brightside¬†comes on we are in a dancing¬†cocoon¬†again where nothing else matters! It was gone 2am when that song came on I think (No 22-year-old¬†sister, I wasn’t tucked up in bed my midnight like you so teasingly predicted!) and then some rubbish beaty, no words song came on (I rarely like songs without words) and I said to my mates ‘That was the peak… it’s time to go for food!’ So off to the nearest kebab shop we went… all except my male friend who decided to party on solo and walk the one hour it takes to get home! There is still some student in us all…….

Anyway, time to get ready for the next night, visiting good friends tonight and having a meal and drinks… so no dirtiness!

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Down and Dirty with the Teenagers

Well today, I have been around teenagers quite a bit…. Started the day with an early morning walk again. I’m afraid I’m starting to sound old by talking about ‘teenagers’ and going on early morning walks…sob! But remember, tonight is Dirty Thursday, so maybe ‘clubbing’ (said very loosely in ur town as its pretty much a few bars with sticky dance floors…dammit I’m sounding old again!) tonight will ensure I remain firmly at my age of 26…. Maybe I’ll even rewind a few years since it will be full of students, damn teenagers again!

You’ve probably guessed but I’m going to be telling you all about Dirty Thursday tomorrow, hopefully in my hung over state with my feet hurting from dancing…..now that’s student style!

And I should know as just…. wait….5 years (sob!) I was one myself as I studied hard for my degree in English…and yes partied hard too! We used to go out every Wednesday, which was student night… Not Dirty Wednesday noo…just ‘student night’ where the drinks came cheap and in treble form and everything was even cheaper if you held a valuable student card. (Oooh just thought maybe I’ll use my current student card tonight since it runs out tomorrow and buying clothes with it hasn’t been that successful!) I was a bit of a rebel in my first year at Uni and got told to leave clubs because a) I danced on the tables b) I passed out on the dance floor or c) threw up ON the bar…that was actually my house mate and she did that just as I was passing out haha. We weren’t popular that night and the funny thing was, we went to another bar after that!! Crazy times as a teenage student!

Anyway back to today. Yes i¬†went for a walk with my bloke’s Mum again and with his brother’s girlfriend and his teenage sister came along too today… And the dogs of course. She was saying she had lots of homework to do over the hols…. There was Art, I.C.T and English. Naturally, I chose to ask about the English homework and got very excited because it was about Of Mice and Men, which I looove! I told I could write it as she dictated it to me…. But I wanted paying! These teenagers need to pay their war so I thought that was a fair deal ūüėČ

Later on I met up with my two cousins, one who is 15 and one who is 17, plus her boyfriend. I tortured them by reading my blogs to them but luckily they laughed and we caught up on school gossip. I actually then advised my cousin’s boyfriend on drinking games he could play at his party on sat (whilst his parents are away)… See I’m¬†not too old yet! Would also like to say that I take NO respsonsibility for how those games turn out…. It’s all a sickly learning curve this drinking culture!

And on that note…I’m going to prepare my stomach for tonight’s dirty drinking….that’s one thing you learn after being a teenager! Plus,¬†I am far too selfish to part with my booze at the end of the night anyway (apart from that one time…. It was a dodgy burger though, I swear!) and I never pray to the porcelain alter so to speak. It’s far too expensive and too much fun too let go of! ūüėČ

see you tomorrow on a not-so-Dirty Friday….

XSXS