Mixing your drink… with more drink!

Hello everyone, I must start off with an apology. I didn’t post anything new yesterday! I know, shameful. And on a saturday when I had no work to do. I was annoyed at myself because I had managed to post something everyday up til then and every day of my first week back at work – even the day I had my pounding headache! Ok, my excuse is this. We went to a BBQ in the afternoon, at like 3pm. I figured that we would be back mid-evening since we were going so early… Mmmm turns out we got in at 11ish and I wasn’t in a suitable state to do most things, especially blog! So apologies for that. I will fill you in on all the gossip from last night to make up for it. 😉

I am pleased to say that I started the afternoon on water… see I was sensible – to begin with! I soon began the pouring of the wine though as the food sizzled on the BBQ. Mmmm a nice chilled, crisp white wine contrasted with a hot, juicy burger. Yum. Went down very nicely I can tell you. We also had hot dogs, salmon, potatoes and salad. There is something special about eating outside isn’t there? Especially in September, like we are living on borrowed summer time. Or it is a reward for the mainly rainy summer we did have. We chatted as we ate the al fresco food and soon a fly zapper was brought out that seemed the entertain the males for quite a while. It was tennis racket shaped and zapped and insect that it hit. The lads, naturally, tried to get each other with it… on the face, head, arms, legs etc… boys will be boys! My boyfriend soon tired of this though and then tried to kill spiders with it. I think we could do with one at home since I hate the eight legged monsters! We heard little bangs as the poor spiders fried against the zapper, causing much laughter. Things get funnier… the more you drink right?

Well things got hilarious later on! We were asked if we wanted a blow job. No.. don’t worry, it’s not one of those blogs. I don’t mean that sort. I mean the cocktail! I had never tried it before and my boyfriend’s twin brother wanted to make us all one. Here’s the recipe for those who would like to experience a blow job at a party 😉

Blow Job

  1. Pour one measure of Creme de Menthe into a small glass (we also used Blue Curacao and Cointreau but they may have different, just as rude names)
  2. Use a tea-spoon (someone recommended to turn it over) to allow one measure of Baileys to be poured slowly into the glass. So hold the spoon in the glass over the creme de menthe and pour the Baileys over it slowly. This is so it settles on top.
  3. You should have a two-layered drink and then down it in one – and make sure you swallow, not spit 😉

Get your tongue round that 😉

Since we had gone into ‘mixing’ mode of drinks.. we decided to play a drinking game with a ‘dirty pint’ in the middle. For those of you who do not know what this is, it’s basically a mixture of what everyone is drinking. Unfortunately, we all have different tastes so there was all sorts in there! Gin, wine, champagne, beer, cider, martini and Baileys. Bleurgh. We played Ring of Fire. You have a circle of cards, the full pack, in the middle of the table. Everyone takes it in turn to pick a card – and you mustn’t break the circle, which naturally gets harder as you go on. Every number and picture card means something different. For example ‘six’ means ‘dicks’ so all the men drink. ‘Fours’ means ‘whores’ (another form of positive terms for women I see!) so all the women drink. I am quite impressed I have remembered as much as I have actually for saying how full of blow jobs and martinis I was by this point! Occasionally, someone has to take punishments and drink from the ‘dirty pint’ in the middle and the last person has to finish it  – which surprise, surprise was me!! It was very curdled by that point, disgusting! Another rule was to not say the word ‘drink’. Being a drinking game and all, I tended to say it a lot – the more I drank, the more I said it! Also another rule when you pick an ‘eight’ is to choose a ‘mate’, who has to drink whenever you do. My poor friend, had to drink whenever I did, haha! Very much fun.

Yes, mixing drinks is always my downfall and I have paid for it today. Even in my 26th year and after three years of university drinking culture, I have not learnt this valuable lesson. I get bored and change my drink and I bow to peer pressure and ‘down it’ when told to! And of course the drinking games you cannot survive without consuming many different alcohols – well at least I can’t!

So learn from my mistakes and avoid mixing blow jobs with wine – and you can tell your boyfriends and husbands my advice too 😉

Have a good evening!


Adding Fuel to the Feminist Fire

Hiya People…. today I am going to risk alienating half of my audience (or at the least males, however many that is) and I want to talk about Feminism. Wait, wait listen up; there is a reason for this. When me and some friends visited our gay friends last night, this topic came up in conversation. By the way I am going to refer to one of the friends as Gay Best Friend (GBF) as he has particularly asked me to do this… and he is anyway; I’ve been very good friends with him since school and every girls needs a GBF like she does shoes, chocolate and a feminist tattoo… oh wait the tattoo bit is just me. (shhh don’t tell!)

Anyway, we were out for dinner and my GBF was telling a story and happened to say ‘He is a Male Whore.’ Now, I can’t reveal who he is on about and the rose wine was flowing so to be honest, I’m not even sure I can remember! But the term ‘Male Whore’ sat wrongly with me immediately anyway. I challenged this and said why did he feel the need to add ‘Male’ onto a word that can mean the same for both genders? This led onto why men get called positive terms such as ‘studs’ and ‘bachelors’ but women get all the negative words.. and this is what I was saying that by adding ‘man’ or ‘male’ onto one of the terms we are saying that the word should normally be associated with women. What do you think of this? I’d love to hear some thoughts…

So me and my GBF began a huuuge debate whilst the other four friends at the table listened (some with interest and I think some were thinking ‘What the hell have you started you whore?!) I revisited my University lectures on Anglo-American and French feminist theories and remembered the argument about the word ‘History’. I am not saying I agree with this bit but I do find it interesting. Some feminists believe that History is like ‘his – story’ and why should it be studied from or be the man’s perspective. I think this is a step too far and my GBF had some interesting insights into this. He knows various languages such as German, French, Swedish and some bits of others. He said that the pronoun ‘he’ or ‘his’ doesn’t always translate into the male gender in all languages and the word ‘history’ comes from latin and the ‘his’ part was actually translated as ‘it’, which in the word ‘history’ gives it no specific gender relation. I think I remembered all this correctly after my few glasses of wine!

We actually stepped outside to continue our conversation after a while… partly to stop the others getting bored and wanting to kill one person off of each gender and also partly because my GBF wanted to smoke and he didn’t want his boyfriend to know… see men can’t even tell other men what to do! 😉 hehe..and sorry GBF for ‘outing’ your smoking habits! We went onto to discuss the word ‘woman’ and is this just the word ‘man’ with the prefix of ‘womb’ on it? My GBF looked from the other side and said that ‘man’ originally meant both genders and that women are lucky to have their own term, whereas men are stuck with the neutral one… well it’s the least we can have after years of not being able to vote!! We also humorously discovered that my name ‘Samantha’ has the word ‘man’ in it and I joked that I couldn’t have that and said my friends should now call me ‘Satha’.

Other topics discussed were when babies are born and they are immediately gendered by being dressed in ‘blue’ or ‘pink’ and this is where my GBF’s boyfriend joined in, who is a psychiatric doctor, and said we wouldn’t believe how much is already biologically determined and even if boys play with Barbie dolls, they may do it in a rough and tumble way and still be determined to be masculine and straight. My point to this was that the individual should be able to choose and parents shouldn’t worry that their girls will be tomboys or their boys dressed in pink with be feminine and gay… because there are a lot of things that determine it anyway. And before you all scream at me, there should’nt be a problem if they were any of those things anyway.

So yes, that was our alcohol fuelled Fancy Friday chatter (my GBF called it Fancy Friday in contrast to our Dirty Thursday due to the contrast that we began the evening by looking round their three storey pad and sipping champagne!) and I realise that this post today has been a lot less light-hearted than the previous ones and to what I have promised, but I’m sorry but sometimes my tattoo burns like Harry Potter’s scar and I have to release all these thoughts. There is no offense meant by any of the above ideas and I don’t completely agree with them all and if anyone has anything to add to the debate then go ahead….

Finally… at the end of the night…… I burnt my bra:

Haha just kidding! This is the remains of the shed that I wanted to share with you! I told you how it got taken to my boyfriend’s brother’s house. Well he didn’t want the roof so we burnt it! and now it has all gone yay!! So no, I didn’t burn my bra, just the remains of the shed….

Now ladies, off you go to wash up 😉

See you tomorrow,


Down and Dirty with the Teenagers (Part 2)

Hey people… I’ve discovered since I’ve started writing a blog, that I can longer talk to people! Yesterday, I kept saying to friends and family ‘Ooh this happened yesterday…’ and they interrupted with; ‘Yes I know, I read it in your blog!’ So I no longer need to talk it seems. It made me realise wy I wanted to write a blog in the first place and that is because I simply love story telling. I love telling people about funny things that happen to me or annoying things and getting opinions. So I suppose one good thing is that I don’t have to repeat myself by telling each person now..because that is what I would have done. But I’m not sure how I feel about this yet because what am I now going to talk about? Another worrying thing is that every night last week, my boyfriend walked in and said ‘How was your day?’  My response was to hurry him to the laptop and read my blog! I am hoping that this is because I am still excited about the novelty of the blog and face to screen isn’t going to be our new form of communication! It seems it is now a war between the written and spoken word….

My mates, though, may appreciate a detailed write-up about ‘the night before’…. mmm or maybe not actually! And of course this isn’t that reliable because i may not be able to remember everything! I am hung over a bit yes and also a little tired but I will try my best to recreate the atmosphere of Dirty Thursday. There was firstly wine and chatter before we actually went to the dirty town. One of my friends was deciding which one of us he would call on for advice about certain things. One dilemma he suggested was ‘If I fell down the stairs and landed on a Hoover (vacuum) nozzle, what would I do?’ He decided on one friend who would have the best words of wisdom in this situation and her response was ‘Turn on the Hoover!’ So yes, this is the thrilling conversations we have after a few drops of alcohol. We also discussed by some dustbins were dark brown and some light brown (I started this one!) and also why certain people leave the caps off the toothpaste (in our household, I do and we have to have two separate toothpastes!).

In the first pub, there was black vodka… a whole new experience for me and one that I’ll blame the hangover on…. Glitter Bombs (which I still insist taste like carrot cake!) and more normal vodka and a rainbow of shots! Bleurgh. I found it amusing in one place that there was a sign up saying ‘J Bombs’.. students were too lazy for Jaegermeister so it became Jaegar Bombs.. and now they can’t even say that so it’s ‘J Bombs’… I know it’s hard to hear in these bars and gets busy but still!

Oh, I tried to use my student discount to get into a club and was met with the response from the bouncer ‘It’s already a student night, what more do you want??’ Haha, so I tried and sadly my student card expired at midnight, so that’s the end of that!

There was also dancing… and I have a Dance-ometer. Zero alcohol means I occasionally will dance but I feel stiff and weird. Too much alcohol and I fall over mid dance. Last night, I was somewhere in between, which was probably perfect for the Dirty evening. I was dancing in a bar, with and without friends and using various pointing finger gestures… I blame the black vodka! My mates enjoyed a good old dance and linking back to the student days that I mentioned yesterday.. it’s funny because our dancing becomes much more animated and enthusiastic when songs come on from sixth form/university. Fat Man Scoop came on and this always reminds me of the sixth form common room so we has some very lively bopping to that one and then the song changed to something I don’t know and I shuffle my feet about slightly, decide it’s a good time to go the loo, get some water or rest my shoe rubbing feet. Then Mr Brightside comes on we are in a dancing cocoon again where nothing else matters! It was gone 2am when that song came on I think (No 22-year-old sister, I wasn’t tucked up in bed my midnight like you so teasingly predicted!) and then some rubbish beaty, no words song came on (I rarely like songs without words) and I said to my mates ‘That was the peak… it’s time to go for food!’ So off to the nearest kebab shop we went… all except my male friend who decided to party on solo and walk the one hour it takes to get home! There is still some student in us all…….

Anyway, time to get ready for the next night, visiting good friends tonight and having a meal and drinks… so no dirtiness!

See you tomorrow,


Down and Dirty with the Teenagers

Well today, I have been around teenagers quite a bit…. Started the day with an early morning walk again. I’m afraid I’m starting to sound old by talking about ‘teenagers’ and going on early morning walks…sob! But remember, tonight is Dirty Thursday, so maybe ‘clubbing’ (said very loosely in ur town as its pretty much a few bars with sticky dance floors…dammit I’m sounding old again!) tonight will ensure I remain firmly at my age of 26…. Maybe I’ll even rewind a few years since it will be full of students, damn teenagers again!

You’ve probably guessed but I’m going to be telling you all about Dirty Thursday tomorrow, hopefully in my hung over state with my feet hurting from dancing…..now that’s student style!

And I should know as just…. wait….5 years (sob!) I was one myself as I studied hard for my degree in English…and yes partied hard too! We used to go out every Wednesday, which was student night… Not Dirty Wednesday noo…just ‘student night’ where the drinks came cheap and in treble form and everything was even cheaper if you held a valuable student card. (Oooh just thought maybe I’ll use my current student card tonight since it runs out tomorrow and buying clothes with it hasn’t been that successful!) I was a bit of a rebel in my first year at Uni and got told to leave clubs because a) I danced on the tables b) I passed out on the dance floor or c) threw up ON the bar…that was actually my house mate and she did that just as I was passing out haha. We weren’t popular that night and the funny thing was, we went to another bar after that!! Crazy times as a teenage student!

Anyway back to today. Yes i went for a walk with my bloke’s Mum again and with his brother’s girlfriend and his teenage sister came along too today… And the dogs of course. She was saying she had lots of homework to do over the hols…. There was Art, I.C.T and English. Naturally, I chose to ask about the English homework and got very excited because it was about Of Mice and Men, which I looove! I told I could write it as she dictated it to me…. But I wanted paying! These teenagers need to pay their war so I thought that was a fair deal 😉

Later on I met up with my two cousins, one who is 15 and one who is 17, plus her boyfriend. I tortured them by reading my blogs to them but luckily they laughed and we caught up on school gossip. I actually then advised my cousin’s boyfriend on drinking games he could play at his party on sat (whilst his parents are away)… See I’m not too old yet! Would also like to say that I take NO respsonsibility for how those games turn out…. It’s all a sickly learning curve this drinking culture!

And on that note…I’m going to prepare my stomach for tonight’s dirty drinking….that’s one thing you learn after being a teenager! Plus, I am far too selfish to part with my booze at the end of the night anyway (apart from that one time…. It was a dodgy burger though, I swear!) and I never pray to the porcelain alter so to speak. It’s far too expensive and too much fun too let go of! 😉

see you tomorrow on a not-so-Dirty Friday….


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