Driving Me to Despair

 

Me and my boyfriend have lived together in our own house for nearly three years now. I like it. I don’t like the area so much. We live near a block of flats so fondly called ‘Cannabis Court’. I think that says it all. In addition to this, I like the parking situation even less. We don’t have off-road parking you see. So on the road, either side, whether we can fit really. It is also a bus route, which doesn’t help. People who don’t live on the street and park up to visit someone, don’t get the ‘unspoken rules’ that you have to shift your car right over or if on the other side then half on the kerb so that buses can fit. Also that you have to wait at one end of the street if car has started coming down the other end. Unspoken rules. Meaning, that we get buses impatiently pipping because a car is parked on the wrong side of the road (not on the kerb) and a bus can’t fit. I always end up peering out the window saying to myself ‘god, such idiots…oooh are they gonna move?’ It’s quite entertaining.

It is not so entertaining, however, when you get up in the morning and realise that your wiper blades have been bent backwards and upwards. This is what I saw this morning as I was about to go shopping. Drunken idiots having a laugh I imagine. I had to spend precious shopping time at Halfords asking for a new wiper blade to be fitted, to then be told that it was the actual connected bit that holds the wipers in place. That was broken because the scumbags had bent them back so far. So not as easily fixed. Great.

In the past, me, my boyfriend and neighbours have all had numerous wing mirrors broken… you know just the glass part so you know that it wasn’t knocked by a car. I think I had to buy 3 new ones for my KA – so we are talking one a year on average just because some thugs get a thrill from breaking property. Tyre valves have also been nicked and some neighbours have even had windows smashed in. Lovely society we live in, isn’t it? My elderly neighbour was telling me that someone set fire to his garage once and his car burnt to ashes. I just don’t get it. Is it just the thrill of doing something they shouldn’t? Or is it jealousy because they don’t have nice things? Or is it blind drunkenness and they just don’t know what they are doing? I imagine it to be gangs of teenagers, who have or maybe not had drink. This is why have categorised this post in ‘Teenagers’ but I know that this is prejudice and it could have been anyone. Sadly, though it does tend to be this age group.

From experience though, I know that the elderly can be just as nasty. When I had my KA, as it was a bit smaller and parking was a real nightmare (still is but I will go round the corner now) I used to park right in front of my house. This is the wrong side of the road if you like – pointing the wrong way – meaning I had to park on the kerb quite a way. I used to consciously think of people with push chairs and wheel chairs and make sure they could still get through. This is why, I was really angry when an elderly woman in a wheel chair had a go at me one morning. It was a Saturday and I had a lie in and then treated myself to some beans on toast with a cuppa and some morning TV for breakfast. Then I heard a massive bang on the window. When I look back now I think it was with a walking stick that she banged on the window with because I don;t know how she could have reached otherwise but I don’t get why she would have had a stick as well as a wheel chair. Anyway, she was shouting ‘move your bloody car so I can fit through!’ Then she wheeled off with a friend in tow. The thing that was the most infuriating was that she was sitting in her wheelchair in the gap between my car and house so she must have fit anyway. I opened my door, in my pink nightie and said ‘Excuse me, but if you have a problem, I would rather you come and knock on my door and talk to me like a civil adult.’ They ranted on about cars being on the pavement and threatened me with the police. She also pointed at numerous spaces over the road… I thought ‘course there are spaced now you stupid cow, people have gone out!’ She said she would scratch my car all the way down the side if it wasn’t moved. This made me not want to move it because threats like that shouldn’t get things done. After I calmed down, I did move it because I didn’t want to risk it getting scratched. But it really made me mad that by kicking up a fuss like that, she got her way. A couple of neighbours mentioned her too and I noticed they moved their cars. So turns out, threatening people can work, sadly. If she had come to my door and gave me a sob story about not fitting through easily, she could have easily made me feel guilty because, as I said, I used to think about that anyway and there wouldn’t have been any need for threats or insults.

The funny thing was, a couple of days later, I came home from work and parked in the same place again. I think it was only going to be for an hour because i was going out again so I thought it would be OK. As I was about to get out, I noticed a girl come batting down the road on a bike and to avoid my wing mirror, she over compensated and banged into my fence. I got out immediately to make sure she was alright and knew I was in for it now as her Mum came closer. Her Mum, though, had a got at her. For going too fast and not looking where she was going and asked me if she had damaged my car! I couldn’t believe it and because she had been so nice, I apologised anyway and made sure she had enough room and said that people complain and a wheelchair woman had a go at me the other day. She said that it was fine and she feels sorry for us having such a problem with parking down there.

Guess it isn’t always the things we do then but how people react. But I now know that number one priority in our next house is …. a drive!

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

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Come Wine with Me

I am very lucky to have not one, but two, groups of very close girly mates.  And guess what? They ply me with wine and cook for me sometimes too! I love having different groups of mates. last friday I had a girly night out with one group and we went to a Rock club (see Not Sloshed enough to Mosh?) Last night, I spent it with my other girly group (who are ex-colleagues and we have stayed close friends). We sort of do a Come Dine with Me evenings… you must have seen the programme Come Dine with Me? Each of us take a turn to cook….. except it doesn’t happen within a week but normally months apart and we don’t particularly score each other but I think we should! I then started doing this with my rocker friends girl group and I am going to one of them next weekend. So yes, all yummy food and wine and chatter… Mmmmmm…

Last night, my friends did tapas and a paella. We try to do a theme each time. No prizes for guessing that last night’s was Spanish. It was yummy and much wine was drank. The chatter focussed around our friend who is engaged (see Two hearts, Two rings). She even tried on our host’s wedding dress from years ago in between the main course and dessert! See, just ike the programme where they nosey round each other’s houses and  try on random outfits!

One of our most memorable Come Dine with Me’s was a few years ago and we went to one friend’s flat and she cooked us a Mexican menu. It was great, we had fajitas, enchiladas, nachos etc. We even had creme caramels and we had a game to see if anyone could suck a whole one up in one go! I failed miserably! We even made our clothes match the food that night and we came dressed Mexican themed! We had plastic toy guns,  a sombrero (borrowed from the Language department at school!), some tequila (for prop use only of course!) and moustaches to add a final touch. We all looked hilarious! Too hilarious to stay in a flat all night. After much wine and few tequilas, we decided that our outfits had to be shared with the world (well in our little town) so we went out to a bar. We got much attention as we were really five women dressed as moustached men! I tell you, I have never had so much male attention on my life!! I think it was the whole ‘up for a laugh’ attitude we clearly had and we clearly couldn’t care less what people thought of us! The alcohol helped with that though. I may have cared a bit if I was sober or in day light! It was a very funny night and one of those nights that are so brilliant just because it wasn’t planned and totally spur of the moment (well the bar bit!)

so don’t just come dine with me. Come and wine with me. Dance with me. And be a drunken Mexican with me!

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Lost in Transit

I had a whole other post planned for today. I was going to share my favourite quote with you and talk about that. But that’s down the pan. Because, something so bizarre just happened that I just have to share with you……

Have you ever thought about the people who lived in the house before you? You may have met them if you bought the house off them. We bought our house off the previous owner’s daughter as she had died – after turning the lovely bathroom suite into a disable and she didn’t even have the time to make the most it, we all lose on that one. I also tend to think about owners before her. Our house was rented for a few years before we bought it so there has been quite a lot of occupant. Some things from the old woman and her husband remained though. Like the locks on the stair and pantry door. Odd. I thought she was trying to keep her husband from the food or alternatively lock him in there! I found out after because my Dad is mates with the woman we bought it off (see it’s always who you know 😉 ). Turns out the man had bad dementia and would go into a room and forget how to get back out. The locks were to stop him going either in the pantry or upstairs. We also found a trap door in our living room when we bought a new carpet. I was already gob smacked as the old carpet had a date of purchase on it and it was 50 years old!!!! I thought about the day it got put down and how the floor had not seen any light since. We then discovered the trap door and were muchly excited at the thought of money… or not so excited at the image of a dead body. Neither were down there and it was just a view of the pipes. Very odd. Viewing hole perhaps? The screws were so old when we got it open that we couldn’t put them back so we sealed it shut, preventing future occupants the joy of anticipation of what could be in there.

Anyway, the odd thing that happened to today! I got home and there was a letter, a small envelope in a plastic wallet with a note from the post office of apology. It said how Royal Mail were very sorry that the letter had taken so long to arrive. I couldn’t think of anything we had not received and then looked at the address ‘Mary Smith’. Mmmmm… we have lived there for nearly 3 years so it had taken a long time to arrive. I then looked at the date of postage and it was 2003!!!!! It had taken 12 years to arrive…. lost in their network it said. I was quite excited about what could be in so had a peep inside. You know what it was? Something really important since it had an apology letter? Something really worth waiting 12 years for? Nope. A Christmas card! I then felt unreasonably angry for some reason. I thought: ‘How much money and time has been wasted to get this to an address, with now different occupants, twelve years too late! And it was only a christmas card! Poor Mary must be thinking ‘God, I never did get a Christmas card off Doreen in 2003!’ Maybe she even stopped sending them in return because of this. I know my Gran does that. She will say, ‘Well she never sent a card last year so I’m not bothering again!’ So maybe the contact ended between Mary and Doreen because of that. Sad thought. I just still can’t get over the fact that it has been floating around the ‘network’ for 12 years. Crazy.

Something similar happened a while ago. We received a parcel addressed to someone else but with our address on. I opened it. I just had to. It was a lovely card, a little girl’s jumper and a handmade wooden teddy bear. I felt sad that the owner would never receive it. I kept it for some reason. I just had a feeling and figured that eventually I would give them away. I was convinced the woman would never know because how close could these people be if they didn’t even know each other’s correct address? Anyway, a few months later, guess what? She showed up at the door. I was so glad I had kept it. She was very happy and said the sender would too. We exchanged a bit of small talk and she commented on how the house had changed etc. Must be weird going back to your old house years later. Happy ending that time…. just wish I could tell Mary that Doreen did send Christmas wishes 12 years ago!

We also get junk mail for various people and get calls for ‘Mrs Curtis’ very regularly. I like the fact the house has a history though…. a bit of character. Maybe one day something more useful will arrive through the post or I will find another money laden trap door 😉

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Trip to the Orient

Afternoon people,

I went for a Chinese last night. That phrase always makes me laugh when people say that or: ‘I’m having an Indian tonight.’ An Indian or Chinese what? Obviously, with the restaurants and takeaways so popular, we mean a meal. But I still think it sounds like you had a Chinese/Indian man or woman in another way 😉 Probably my rude mind!

We went to one of those Chinese buffet ‘all you can eat’ restaurants, which quite frankly are more like canteens. Me and my boyfriend went with some of his rowing buddies to celebrate two of their birthdays. It surprised me as we ate that a few of them said that they didn’t even like Chinese food. It made me think that actually you didn’t need to in a place like that.  As I looked at the trays of food I saw that there was chips, chicken nuggets, a BBQ section (who knew the Chinese were good BBQers?) and also samosas, which I swear are Indian?! So yes, you can easily get by and not eat Chinese! I, myself, had some of the starter foods like spring rolls, satay chicken, crab claws – but you find it is all deep fried! I also had sushi, which I love, but again I thought that was not Chinese but Japanese?! I normally, for my main, visit the Teppanyaki section, where they cook to order for you. As much as I love food that has sat there for hours, I thought I would have some freshly cooked! I chose raw prawns, chicken, beef, veg and noodles and they cooked whilst I watched. One man asked them what their secret was and the big, Chinese chef joked that he couldn’t tell. It made me laugh because all the ingredients they were using to cook it with seemed to be labelled anyway. So I think I cracked the secret code – he used some onion water (whatever that is!), something labelled as ‘spring’, which I am assuming is also water… some wine and some oyster sauce. Right, I’m off to set up a Teppanyaki bar now…..

The meal was nice but not amazing. A highlight for me was the chocolate fountain, but again not very traditionally Chinese! Very nice over some ice-cream and other tasty bits though. I drank water with me meal, mainly because Chinese food always seems salty and I get quite thirsty. It reminded me when I went to the same restaurant with friends a few years ago. They didn’t seem to understand the concept of a ‘jug’ of water and kept bringing it by the glass. We ended up with ’22’ glasses of water on our bill, which were free because it was from the tap but it still showed up. 22 glasses for them to wash up… which I guess they wtill would have had to be fair and they saved on the jug 😉

 

I like Chinese in my house and not just the kitchen. I love all the symbols and any decor relating to it. When I lived with my parents, I had a chinese bedroom. Now it is our dining room!! I have pictures on the wall, candle holders, cushions, dinner sets etc. Love it. It always makes me wonder why I am so obsessed with it all. I have a secret thought… which I have only ever shared with certain people when drunk or feeling particularly honest…. but I think I may have been chinese in a previous life 😉 Yeh, yeh go on laugh!! Do any of you believe in that? I just seem to have some stong feelings towards the Chinese culture and I have never even been. Very weird. Shame I can’t remember how to use chop sticks though 😉

I’ll leave you with that thought as you enjoy your Chinese takeaway tonight 😉

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

Riches to Rags to Riches

Afternoon gang,

Thought I should fill you in a little about my holiday escapades. We went to a few different places in France, staying in three different accommodations. they were very different and I just have to share with you the contrast  that we experienced.

We got to Paris and arrived at our hotel to be told that our room had been upgraded…. to a lower floor funnily enough. It was lovely though as it had its own little courtyard. The room was great and had air con, which was very welcome in the 30 odd degree heat!! I’m not sure which my boyfriend was more excited by – the mini bar or the fact that we had twin beds!! No, it wasn’t that he couldn’t bear to share a bed with me any longer he just decided that this was the perfect way to sleep. Two single beds pushed together. I tend to hog space you see and he loved the fact that he had his own bed but was still next to me! It also had the perfect line down the middle so I couldn’t easily claim i was on ‘my side’ when I wasn’t!!

As for the mini bar, you would think we normally lived in squalor! I reminded him that it would be very expensive… but we later discovered that in Paris, the prices all around in bars and restaurants were ‘mini bar’ prices! So we enjoyed a wine and beer as we got ready, freshly chilled. And I took advantage of the Toblerone when we came back to the hotel after a day of sightseeing!

So yes, we had luxury. Lovely, white fluffy towels (why they always so amazing in hotels??), a bath (we don’t have one at home so even in the heat, I insisted on having one – wine by my side too!), the tempting mini-bar and lovely, separate beds all to be enjoyed with the wonderful invention of air con!

2 nights later and we left for Evian where we to spend 4 nights. The accommodation there was the reason we planned the whole trip. My boyfriend’s workmate was loaning us a flat there to say thanks for some work my bloke had done for him. It belongs to his mother-in-law and we were allowed it for free! Great! Free yes but oh it came at a price. We came crashing down to humble, domestic, unclean reality. I just want to say first that I am truly grateful that we had the flat and we wouldn’t have been able to have afforded the rest of the trip of we hadn’t had it for free. But i just have to tell you how yuk it was. It is the lady’s main home and there was clutter everywhere. Honestly, the toilet room was surrounded by a big green tub, which I can only assume was weed killer. The bathroom had a big, fold-up washing line in the bath! The barbecue stood proudly by the sink in the bathroom also. There was two fold-up beds proppned up against the double bed in the bedroom, along with sun loungers – so we had to shimmy to get into bed. The wardrobe was crammed full of her clothes and a standing rail in the living room was also (but I managed to hang up some of mine on that too.)

The kitchen had every gadget and utensil you could imagine with some grime added in for good measure. It had a portable, two hob cooker that had a note saying ‘Do not use the cooker until the water has heated up or the electricity will trip.’ Weird. There was also a fold-up garden table and more sun loungers and plastic chairs all propped up in the kitchen. No where to move. We had to move all this stuff mentioned outside onto the balcony and in the garden to make room for ourselves, let alone out stuff.

I hated to think it, as I said I am grateful that we didn’t have to pay (I would have been pretty p*ssed off if we had to pay to be fair!), but I would have been ashamed for anyone to see that I lived like that, let alone loan it out to extended friends and family! I also felt angry at her. Totally unreasonable… but I thought ‘God, you are so lucky to be able to afford a flat like this with a great view of Lake Evian and this is how you treat it!’ Makes you think some people just don’t deserve money. So riches to rags indeed. We spent the next four days out as much as possible or on the balcony! We didn’t use the cooker hob once but had a go with the barbecue – rude not to when it was standing there waiting to be used! I told my boyfriend to tell his friend the flat was ‘well equipped’ (a positive spin on cluttered) and ‘had a great view of the lake’ (rather than a horrible view inside) and had a brilliant balcony (not a horrible living space inside) – that’s how horrible properties get sold right?

For our last night we went to Reims. I was glad to leave the flat but was not pleased that all my clothes now smelled of ‘old lady’. We got to our hotel and was in luxury again – yay! Another great room. I did panick though because I opened a door and found a toilet – haha – I wondered where the shower was?! My boyfriend swiftly opened an amazing glass painted door to reveal an amazing shower room (no barbecue and washing line included!). We had a mini bar again, but didn’t indulge in the 35 euro champagne – not that into ‘riches’! The hotel had a pool… which we had to ourselves when we went for a swim that afternoon. We had gone from shimmying around a crowded flat to a big, open swimming pool to ourselves. Bliss. There was also a steam and sauna – places where we were meant to get hot, not just a flat with no air-con! It was great. Back to riches again for the end of our holiday.

Now we are back home, in our three bed semi – and I think it is somewhere in between! But we have a bigger fridge and the wine in it is free (or paid for very cheaply on the ferry ride home!)

Whether you have brilliant or rubbish accommodation, you mustn’t let it spoil your holiday because no matter what it’s like, it always gives you a story to tell  😉

See you tomorrow,

XSXS

A Hole lot of Digging!

Afternoon folks, To link to my post from last Saturday, Adding Fuel to the Feminist Fire…which seems to have provoked quite a debate so check it out… I have been doing what some would call ‘manly’ chores/jobs/roles or whatever you want to call it. If you see the comments on that previous post, I think the conclusion seemed to be that there are no rules for what jobs people do in a household… but it comes down to the individual and what their skills are. Well I am not brilliantly able at gardening, physical lifting or anything manual to be honest but I had a go! Today, I was sawing branches off trees (I got a bit saw happy actually!), digging roots up and lifting huge slabs and any other junk that seem to be left by the previous owners…

I turned into a teenage boy for an hour actually… No my voice didn’t get hoarse and deep and I didn’t suddenly develop certain male parts or the urge to look at women in bikinis (I could have just put Club land on if that was the case!)… I just quite enjoyed digging holes! I told myself I needed to get the roots up from the plant we have taken up and that I needed the turn the earth over and also check what was under there (still no dead bodies!) BUT really I was just enjoying seeing how far I could dig down. The memories of making mud pies as a small child returned to me. I have never understood why I ever chose to make mud pies. In most ways I am such an indoor girl and always have been. I loved Barbies, reading, dressing-up and all of that but it seems there is this grubby, outdoorsy type in me that resurfaces every so often!

I think, today, I was also influenced by my current read. Remember how I said on Wednesday (in my post That Stinging Feeling) that everyday things can remind of us of  literature?  Well, currently I am reading Holes by Louis Sachar. The pupils in year 8 at school study it and I haven’t read it yet so thought I would over summer. Yes, I’m lucky that as a teaching assistant that is as far as my summer work and preparation goes really! In the book, which I am very much enjoying, a group of teenage boys are at a juvenile detention camp and have to dig holes everyday, five foot deep and five foot wide. So I am not sure if me digging today was influenced by me reading the book or by doing that it made me think of the book! Such a circle of life and literature isn’t it??

The kids in the book have to get up at 4.30 am everyday and once they start digging their hole, they don’t stop – only for a quick lunch break and for drinks – it is in a desert setting and the sooner they finish their hole, the sooner they can get out of the blazing orange rays.  The book has a lot more to it than that with themes of teenage rebellion, families, racism, religion so do take a look! I haven’t finished it yet… I was hoping to today but the garden has made a bigger hole in my day than planned 😉

Anyway, as I was doing the garden, I pictured these fictional teenage boys and how they had to keep going in sandy, dry, boiling, strict and thirst desperation conditions and it helped me to keep going! My small garden of a semi-detached property had no comparison to the setting of the book but still… I thought if they can manage that for a full day everyday then I can clear this corner of the garden! And I did it! Yay! It’s looking more like an actual garden each day!

Digging ‘holes’ also got me thinking about when we say it to people or we say it ourselves. The metaphor we use for basically saying things we shouldn’t!! Haha. We end up digging further than planned or we have to talk the talk and butter people up by digging ourselves out of the hole! I had to do that last night. I told you, I went to see the friend who got engaged. She loved my post about it (Two hearts, Two rings) but we were afraid that her fiancé wouldn’t approve of me writing about it. Last night, I decided to apologise to him for the post and explain. Turns out he didn’t know about it anyway.. as my friend so subtlety told me as I started talking…. TOO late. I was in a hole. I then had to explain about my blog and the fact I had written the post. Then I said how I agreed with her choice on it – then I thought; ‘Dammit, he will think I was insulting him if I was on her side!’ So I ended up digging a little further!  To dig myself  out of that one. I had to say that I also used lots of examples and I looked at the male opinion and everything. Argh. To climb out of the hole completely… I even offered to delete the post… and stop writing my blog and keep my pen and typing fingers prisoner forever more (Ok that last bit was an exaggeration!) he said he was  fine about it.. But I don’t think he has read it yet! Eek… and now I’ve told you all this, I may have more holes to dig out of tomorrow haha!

So people, be careful what you say and if you need to take out your frustration… then dig a real hole (it also comes in handy for hiding in!)

If I have offended anyone then please comment at the end and I’ll happily ‘dig’ myself out of it!

See you tomorrow (I hope!)

P.S – you’ll be glad to know that I have stood up to the cats. I have taking back my butt (of the water kind 😉 ) and I scared away the horrible hisser cat.. with some of the advice from yesterday, so thank you!

XSXS

Two legs in charge; Four legs not!

Hello people…

I seem to be involved with animals a lot over my holiday and I’m trying to make a stand against them! Firstly, I’ve told you about the walks I’ve been on with my boyfriend’s Mum and her dogs. Well that first walk, the little, ever so cute puppy took me for a run remember?! And it got me thinking that animals can take over if they so choose. My boyfriend’s Mum keeps telling me, ‘you are in charge, not them!’ This was repeated again when that oh so darling little border collie took me through the deepest part of the mud puddle! I have never had cats or dogs as pets so didn’t really think about the fact that we need to teach them who is boss… I only ever had a rabbit, mice and a budgie when I was younger and them being locked firmly behind bars spoke volumes of who was in charge! Obviously, with my title, you literature fans will notice my play on Orwell’s Animal Farm’s famous quote of ‘Four legs good, two legs bad,’ where a group of pigs take over the humans in order to run a farm. That novel has the whole allgoric idea of the Stalin era leading up the second World War. But I’m not getting into all that… I want to think of this literally and what if animals did take over? Could they if we didn’t train them or put them in their place? Crazy thought I know… well it is Friday!

The cute little puppy who tried to take ME for a run!

I thought about this the other day when I was at my boyfriend’s brother’s house having lunch with him and his girlfriend (this was after the Club Land Dvd that I discuss on the Exercise is Dangerous part 2 post!) Their cat tried to jump onto his lap whilst he was eating his salad and they discussed how the cat is getting more like that lately and thinking she is the boss of the house! She (the cat) had to be told numerous amounts of time to not lick the plates after we had finished in order to know she couldn’t just do what she wanted! I then had this image of what may happen if they never disciplined her like this?… would she start getting food from the cupboards and learn to walk upright like they do in Animal Farm? Haha….best keep an eye out on your cat this weekend 😉

The cat… with partner in crime… ready to take over the household!

For saying I do not have any of my own animals.. so I don’t get the cuddles and stroking and all the good bits (but not the vet’s bills either come to think) I still get plenty of visits from cats. Remember how we got rid of our shed? (See Shed Light on the Garden post if you didn’t). Well, I think the cats in the surrounding houses think it is their new playground! It has plenty of rubble and long grass to play in.. much fun! I don’t shoo them yet.. which has got me thinking that I should. Because when the garden is done and we actually have living things in it, I won’t want them  around and maybe by letting them now, I am giving them chance to mark their territory, make a home, invade… or whatever it is that cats do!

I went into the garden yesterday to hang out some washing and noticed a black cat curled around the top of our water butt. They often do this as it seems the perfect shape and size. (except for the big, fat ginger ball one that normally sits there. I swear one day it will buckle inder his weight and the garden will be flooded!) I’d never seen this black one before and as I walked towards him/her/it (you can tell I don’t have a cat!) it hissed at me!! I should have hissed back to ne honest or scared it off in some way but instead I told it off like I would a kid at school! It seemed I’d missed using my ‘teacher voice!’ I shouted at it, ‘How dare you hiss at me in my own garden! Now sit there quietly or you can leave!’ Haha! I really hope the neighbours didn’t hear or there will be crazy rumours going around…. on the bright side they may keep their cats away!

My neighbour actually mentioned how his cat sits on my water butt… I don’t know if he means the ginger giant or the horrible hisser (see an animal lover would ask!) but he said it was nice that they have somewhere to sit. ‘yeh, I thought, ‘great… I’m really glad your cat can visit my holiday retreat to relax!’ He then said he had a problem getting him to come home thought yesterday to go to the vets. I offered to put something on it to stop them sitting on it… I was thinking of tar.. or glue… or poison.. (No don’t call the RSPCA.. I’m joking! I’ve said I don’t mind them being there as long as they don’t hiss at me!) He said that wasn’t necessary but could I move the water butt a foot closer next time so he could reach it??! I hope he was joking.. as I might as well just set the sunbed up next time just inbetween the two gardens so he has the best sunny position and can still get home for his appointment!

Before you write me off as a complete animal hater… I am a little bit in love with the tiny, grey kitten next door (the other side). He could definitly take over the world and get to the top purely on looks and charm! He is adorable… and I’ve actually been scared that the neighbours think I’m trying to take him. He keeps comin to our gardern everyday… probably plotting for a destruction! But Kitty, the garden already looks like a bomb has hit it! When we were cutting down trees the other night (sorry did I say WE? oops) and the cat kept scampering about and getting in our way… another way that these four legged lovelies take over. We had to keep stopping work (doh said ‘we’ again!) in order to make sure the cat wasn’t where the tree was about to fall or in the big pile of leaves that we were going to set fire to! Really held us up… he owes us at least an hour of labour!

So watch out for your four legged friends… they may seem to be ‘cute’ but they are actually just distracting you.. they may seem to be sunbathing.. but they may be trying to drive you out or your own garden. Or they be trying to squash your water butt! Or take you on a run at a ridiculous time of day!

Take charge… two legs good, four legs bad!

Woof and Meow for now,

See you tomorrow.. unless the cats hijack my laptop!

XSXS

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