A Child’s Voice

I’ve been trying to change my earrings today – remember I’ve not long had them pierced? It’s proving to be difficult and since it  hasn’t been quite 6 weeks, I’m going to leave it a little longer. Damn things won’t budge!

It made me think of a lot of articles that have been littering Facebook. Piercing your young child’s ears: OK or not? My instant reaction to this is ‘No. Not OK.’ Simply because it is a fashion statement and something that young children do not need and should be able to make their own choice on the matter, when they a.) Know what it means/entails b.) are old enough to change the earrings themselves. As I say, I am struggling to change mine and I’m 28. I chose to do this to myself and they are a bit sore. Children with ear lobes 20 odd years younger, who did not choose this, should not have to be probed and pulled at in order to change them. The child above in the image does not look happy. They won’t be any happier when they have them done. Because they won’t even know! Who gains from this process?

There was the issue of ‘child abuse’ on one of the threads that I read. Some people were throwing this term about and saying it was indeed abuse, whereas some were saying this is a term that is said too frequently and something like this doesn’t warrant abuse. Well, it isn’t the same abuse as beating a child, or sexually abusing a child or mentally bullying a child. And it shouldnt belittle any of those horrible examples in comparison. But I still think it is a form of abuse: you are doing something physical to your child that they have no choice over. You wouldnt tattoo your child, would you?

Another example was immunisation  – which is a bit of an idiotic example if you ask me. Yes, it is something physical you are doing to your child without their will, but it is medical and to keep them healthy, and perhaps in some incidences alive. Another silly example was about keeping a child in a push-chair. They may struggle to get out, so you are physically doing something against their will. But again, this is safety. And, I’m not a parent myself, but don’t you have to do things against the child’s will in order to parent them? I just think ear-piercing doesn’t need to be one of them.

Circumcision was another interesting example. People were saying that gets done, so why shouldnt ear-piercing? Well, again this is a lifestyle choice (yes, I know it is sometimes determined and directed by religious choice) and I also think the child should decide when they are old enough.

I guess the reasons people pierce their child’s ears is to make them look prettier perhaps? Which to me as an insult to the child. If they need some sparkly things to make them look cuter, then maybe the parent’s genes weren’t attractive enough to start with! I can’t really think of another reason why people would want to do it to be honest – to make them grow up quicker? This is sad though, because kids grow up too fast as it is. We may all disagree on what actual age children should be. I think they should have them pierced as teenagers – when they are old enough to go to town with their mates and all have it done together. There is no rush for something like this. There are plenty other options of jewellery to make them ‘pretty’. I should know – I had 28 years of that ‘limited’ choice! Also, rememeber you have to be 18 to have a tattoo, yet there is no age for ear-piercing. Barmy!

I always wonder if it is some kind of control, like a branding. Do parents think this is way of making their children more customised to their personal ideas and choices? A bonding experience of blood and scabs between child and parent? I’d be happy to hear some further ideas as to why, as I just don’t get the need for it.

Religion as a whole is another example of children not having a choice – yes I know, I’m banging on about it again!  Should children get christened when they aren’t old enough to decided which religion (if any) they want to follow? I was christened but I am not a Christian now (through my own choice). My Mum said once that I was christened with holy water from Jerusalem and it was wasted on me! Haha. Maybe being christened doesn’t matter, because you reject the religion later anyway – but I still think, like the piercing, it should be a choice made by the person themself.

The importance, is not their ears, but their voice. Their voice gives them a choice – as we all have the right to.

Holes or holy – we all have our own right to decide 😉

XSXS

Advertisements

Midnight Ma(dne)ss!

This Christmas eve, I went to Midnight Mass. If you read regularly or know me well, you will understand that I am not religious. This does not stop me banging on about different religions. I am against organised religion per say, but I am fascinated by different ones. So, Midnight Mass as an organised service in a church was perfect for me, naturally 😉 Haha. I really went to see what it was like out of curiosity – and because my sister and her friend were going anyway.

Never again.

This is not a bash against the Catholic Church and I am not insulting the religion (or anyone that follows it) in any way. I just want to give you my honest interpretation  – in my usual humorous way- about my Christmas Eve experience. Tongue firmly in cheek.

I was told by regular goers, that this particular church was an informal/uncliquey kind of one – so great to just try out as a one-off. We arrived at about half 11 – and couldn’t find the right entrance, which speaks volume in itself really 😉 We then sat on wooden pews ready to hear some great words. My sister’s friend’s Mum got up to light a candle and knelt down as she entered the altar. My sister thought her knee had gone again, but we soon realised that she was praying, as everyone did this when they get up 😉 Unless there any many people with dodgy knees in our town! Haha.

We also lit candles for our late grandparents. 10 pence a candle! I think I was very generous giving 50 pence for mine 😉 I then bumped into a friend of a friend, who I last saw on a hen do last summer. It was one of those awkward moments when you’re thinking ‘Ooh I didn’t know you were religious!’ I, instead, asked, ‘Do you come here often then?’ Which she probably took as a come on, and it definitely wasn’t that kind of church – not a singles and mingles eve! Ha!

The whole thing was all quite sombre really and it wasnt able to capture by mood of excitable/happiness/relaxation that I feel on the eve of Christmas. I kept thinking, ‘I could be at home watching Christmas films and sipping Baileys.’ But no. I was amongst other spirits…… and being told constantly to repent for my sins. Well to me, being sinful is eating that second piece of cheesecake. I didn’t want to pray to be forgiven for sins. I mean, I’m not perfect or anything, but I don’t do anything horribly wrong that I need to ask forgiveness for.

It was all just too religious for me. Silly thing to say I know. I just wanted some talk about family and importance of caring for people etc – and a few nice carols. Oh and a mince-pie and a glass of wine wouldn’t have gone a miss either!

At the end, we were meant to embrace people near us – and as I discovered after, say: ‘May peace be with you!’  – I did not do this. I exclaimed ‘Merry Christmas!’ Haha. Luckily , it was just to my sis.

All very interesting and I was in awe at all the people, who clearly attend regularly and drink in every word (as I drink in every sip of wine!)….. but as I have said before, I don’t need services like that to give me faith and purpose. I was hoping it would make me a feel a little more Christmassy that’s all. It did not. But as I always say at new experiences, ‘If all else fails, I’ll get a story for my blog out of it!’ 😉

I got home at 1.15am – and all I could think that I had to be up in 6 hours to visit family before putting the turkey in. You clearly have to be very organised and get by on lack of sleep to attend organised religious activities. Good for you, if you do. But next year, I’ll be at home singing Christmas carols wildly out of tune, drinking wine and eating snacks and exclaiming ‘Merry Christmas!’ at the top of voice. And not feel one ounce of guilt at my sins 😉

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas, whether it was religious or not. 🙂

XSXS

A Happy Soul

….. We must find a happy and calm mind in a world of suffering. That is what Buddhists believe. I think there is a lot to be said for that. I went to a Buddhist centre yesterday and I always find it a very interesting religion.  In fact, if I was to properly commit to a region, that would be the one I would choose. I don’t consider myself religious and when I have said that in the past, I have taken it to mean that I don’t believe in god. But in Buddhism there is no god; so it is an interesting thought that there doesn’t need to be a god for a religion.

I am not one of these members of a younger generation who has dismissed christianity and/or god and said I am a non-believer because it is ‘cool’. I have thought and researched it a lot. Religion, I am  fascinated by as a whole.

At Uni, I went to a few different Christian services. I was influenced by some friends at the time, who were devout Christians. In one church, I felt very uncomfortable and like people were in ‘cliques’ and they wanted to ensnare to me to join. In another service at a more modern church, I was a bit freaked out by the upbeat-ness of it all. All this ‘praise the lord’ stuff, which reminded me of American TV and then people started talking in tongues. This was the strangest thing I think I ever seen and I knew at that point that I would never go back. I was glad I experienced them though and I admire people who have that faith and go to church every week. From then on, I decided I believed in something but I wasn’t sure what it was. Agnostic was the label that I attached to myself.

The problem I have with God is all the suffering in the world. I know that Christians will argue to their deaths at this point and I have had lengthy debates with friends and colleagues about it. If there is a god then why do innocent people die, natural disasters happen etc. I am all for the ‘things happen for a reason’ theory and even for the whole idea that people have to die to keep the world’s population at bay, but some things I just can’t get my head round. Some really terrible things happen to good people and vice versa. And as for people praying on their way down from a plane crash?  I know I wouldn’t be. What good is that going to do? I would text loved ones if I could, talk to the loved one I was with or just spend it thinking about my life. I understand it is probably about control and that they need to feel they are doing something in an awful situation.

This is, again, why I like this idea of Buddhism. It all revolves around the idea of yourself And that is the only person we have any control over. If  we are postive, nice to peeople then we will feel calm and happy. I am all for postive thinking and I think it does work wonders. I am also interested in the law of karma that they talked about yesterday. If you do good things, you get good things. If you do something wrong, it will come round to teach you a lesson. I also believe in reincarnation. We come back as someone else depednning on how we acted in a previous life. Even though, I also like the idea of heaven so I am not sure how I feel about that. But I know that I definitly want to bellieve that something does happen after we die and it isn’t just it.

But that’s it for this post. I am happy to hear any views of different religions, as I say I am interested in all and am not completely sure what I believe in myself.

I am now going to eat my dinner, it will give me a calm, happy mind!

XSXS