The Most Important Thing…

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My sister got married on Friday.  She and my brother-in-law to be had asked me to write some words for the ceremony. Naturally,  I was honoured – and also a little nervous. I’m fine with public speaking, but when you are reading aloud your own words in such an emotionally-heightened situation like a family wedding, it can be daunting. For me, it was mainly the fact that I needed to make it through without crying (too much!) and to do my words – and the bride and groom –  justice. Luckily, it went well. I got tears and laughter in the right places (always a bonus!)

The Most Important Thing…

Within this beautiful setting of a luxurious wedding of classy dress, exciting atmosphere and immaculate décor, it’s easy to forget the most important component of all: the love story underneath it. As much as the outward appearance of today will add to our experience, and will be highlighted in the photographs and videos for years to come, love is the most exceptional part of today, but it cannot be seen. However, love has an empowering feeling that will stay with us for the whole of the day – and the following days and weeks and years to come.

No matter how it is dressed up, love is the same. Love is timeless. Love is everything. Love is what we all live for – and aim for.

Life will have golden days and black, dark days, but love is the one thing that keeps us all going in each of our chapters, until we reach the end of the story. To have found a person to express that love to – and to spend your life with, is an achievement in which you should both feel very lucky.

Emily has found in Patrick, a partner for life. He is a brilliant man – loyal, supportive, understanding and funny – and most importantly, for a husband of my sister: patient!  Patrick is also incredibly lucky with his choice of wife. Emily is his best friend: caring without limits, tender, loving and oh so funny – sometimes without meaning to be! I have been blessed with her as a sister for almost 27 years now  – so I know he’ll be truly blessed to have her as a wife for his happy ever after. He just needs to keep a good stock of gin 😉

Like any good love story, there will be dramatic moments, sad parts and some interesting, lively characters. But if you focus on each other and the love and respect you have, then you will have the greatest love story and marriage of all.  

Congratulations to my sister and new brother-in-law. Our tiny family is growing!

XSXS

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Miss to Mrs!

Final Bride Blogger – the last time I’ll write as a Bride!

I’ve not written as many Bride blogs as I would have liked really. Wedmin has taken over …. but technically I have been writing. I’ve been writing my poem/speech for the big day. I’ve been writing the table plan. I’ve been writing messages to drag in those pesky RSVPs (the whole process of guests: writing your guest list to sending invites to getting in RSVPs to sorting where they’ll all sit  – is the hardest part by far! A wedding would be so simple without guests! 😉 ) I’ve also been writing jobs lists for the Wedding party and instructions for the venue.

It turns out a wedding isn’t just about marriage. Well it can be if you literally go the registry office to get that all-so-important piece of paper that boasts your status of husband and wife…. but as I’ve said on previous blogs, for me, it has always been about everyone we love in one room being there to celebrate the event. Our Best man said that the most important thing is that we are there are to say our vows. Even though I appreciate this sentiment (and of course it is true, if you pick one thing from the whole day that is the important bit!) we have chosen to spend thousands of pounds celebrating it how we wish, so the other stuff becomes important too.

The wedding is now in 2 days time (eeeeeeeek!) And it is an event. We are going to the venue the day before. We have boxes and boxes of stuff: favours, decorations, gifts, photo booth props etc etc. We have entertainment arriving.  We are throwing a social event – putting on a show if you will! I’ve been so finicky about typos on the ceremony reading…. particular about the decorations all being the same….funny about the photo collages being just right… and I then have to hand all this over to the venue and hope it all comes together.

I’m doing a speech, which I’m not nervous about at all. I figure if I can stand in front of a room of 15/16 year olds on a daily basis, then this crowd should be easy in comparison! People are there because they love us (or at least like us!) and I know I don’t have to win them over… so that’s all good. I am nervous about the walking down the aisle because I’m clumsy! Yes if I tripped over mid aisle, it would be funny…but I don’t really want the ceremony being remembered for that! I’m also nervous about the vows… at the minute I can’t listen to my entrance song without crying – how am I going to make it through saying all those vows aloud? Does it legally count if they can’t be heard through sobs and sniffles? Haha!

I’ll admit I’ve been a stress-head at times the last few weeks. But things have happened to cause this: guests not knowing the date, people being able to come/not come (oh and then come again!), different managers at the venue, family fall-outs, and I was also upset because a close family relative can now not make it because he has been called back to his submarine work (can’t be helped; just one of those things – but still sad)… things have cropped up, but we’ve dealt with them. (Hope it is all smooth from now on and I’ve not just jinxed it!) No matter what some friends and family say, I WILL be chilled on the day…. well maybe not calm and quiet, as that’s not my nature! I’ll be silly, excited and giddy. I won’t be stressed and worried. By that point, if things do go wrong, I won’t bother. I’m not daft – I do realise this day only comes once. I want to enjoy it! I do want the day to be “perfect” (whatever that means) and I know we have done (along with great friends and family) everything in our power to get us there… things may go wrong on the day, but it won’t matter. As I always say too, when things go wrong, it means I get a story out of it! 😉

Today is about visiting more family and having my nails done…maybe some honeymoon prep? Last few shades of Gray to paint 🙂 See you all when I’m a Mrs!

XSXS

Giving Notice of my Single Life

Bride Blogger Part 9

Today, we went to “give notice”. A phrase that a lot of people seem unfamiliar with, especially if they got married in a church. It’s basically the legal bit (the same as having your bands read I think) and to give people a chance to object in this notice period.

The whole idea kind of makes me laugh. The hoops you have to jump through to make sure we’re for real….I mean we’ve been together for ten years and lived together for 6! Surely the stage in our relationship we want to get to or show to society is up to us! We have to prove we are a real couple, yet people can get pregnant and become parents without so much a “you sure you’re ready to be a parent?” That’s where the real interviewing and questioning should come in my opinion. Just a thought!

Anyway, as we walked into the small, clinical registrar’s office, I felt like it was a mixture of a job interview blended with a quiz show. It was serious…but there were easy questions that I may not get right under pressure! And you can argue the prize was Kenny 😉 The job interview link is also like you are “giving notice” from a previous job. My job as a single lady is done: this is my notice.

The questions were easy… about Kenny’s full name. That one isn’t as easy for me as it is for others mind. Kenny changed his surname by deed poll when he was younger – but PING I knew the previous and new names! Ten points to me. I also knew his job title (he started a new job in Jan and I finally managed to memorise this title last night!) wahoo, ten points! I knew my Dad’s full name (two middle names – so surely I should have got extra points?!) and I kind of guessed at his job title… maybe lost ten points on that one? Then I got all ready to answer about my Mum – but didn’t need to! I was thinking “Come on, I know this  – ask me, ask me!”

We were asked if we’d lived together in our house for more than a month. I was like “yeah for almost 6 years actually!” Bonus points?! After that, I did want to get creative with my answers and have a bit of a laugh:

“Is there any chance you two could be related?”

“Well, we live in Swad, so we could be!”

But, no. I fought against this urge. It was serious and legal stuff…not a time for joke about webbed feet, incestuous Swad folk. Even though, it would have lightened the mood! She also asked me three times if I’d been married before! I knew I should have hidden that wedding ring 😉 (I’ve only ever been married to my books…and they’re starting to get fed-up of me!)

At the end of my interview, she lost the online form. It disappeared. I was thinking, “Great! If we have to do it again, I best make sure all of my answers are the same!” But, luckily she salvaged it. It then failed to print! I wanted to say, “Ah, Kenny is really good with computers, I’ll go get him! See, see, that’s something else I know about my husband-to-be!” 20 points?

Kenny’s interview went without a hitch: no repetitions, no issues. Says it all really! It now means we can get hitched!

I won the quiz…. and I got the job as a future Mrs Holmes…unless anyone contests it…shouldn’t joke really, as that’s something that would probably happen to me! Haha.

XSXS

It’ll be alright on the Wedding Day…

Bride Blogger Part 8

I’ve been absent from the Blogging world for a while. Wedmin, wedmin, wedmin! For those of you who aren’t all-consumed with wedding lingo, “Wedmin” is a very cleverly coined compound word for wedding admin, but you could probably figure that out 😉 I do wonder what I did with my time B.E (as in Before Engagement) – what did I do with those precious moments that are now spent making table confetti? Or cutting out inserts for the invitations? Or finding photographs to decorate the venue? Writing poems for nupitals? And when I get a break, I read wedding magazines in the bath!

Overall, it’s been an exciting time and I do enjoy all of the planning. We’ve had a few stressful things happen though that I’d thought I’d share with you fellow-brides or anyone else who wants a giggle:

Way back before Christmas, my Mum and I went to the florist to book flowers plus a glittery curtain back-drop for our venue. A glittery curtain? If you’d said to me years ago that we’d be forking out a small fortune to hire a glittery curtain for our wedding, I’d have laughed so hard, I would’ve spat wine in your face. But we have a massive window behind the top table in the venue room and it boasts a not so romantic looking view of the car-park. So, we need something to cover it. This one we wanted had been used at our venue loads and we thought “bugger it,” it saves anyone spending hours making something that may not look half as good. This is what weddings do to you – you spend on things you never thought you would want or need, but it is all about choosing what to spend your money on. Anyway, I digress. We went  to book this and with crossed fingers asked if the coveted curtain was available on our wedding day. She looked and said;

“Oh it’s already booked that day. At the Riverside hotel with a royal blue colour scheme!”

“What? But OUR wedding is on that date at that venue with that colour scheme!”

Wedding planning does make you a tad crazy. So after this had sunk in, I started to ponder if I had actually already booked it without remembering! But this booking had someone else’s name and they’d already picked flowers and paid their £50 deposit. I’m crazy, but not that crazy and think that even in my mad Wedmin mode, I would still remember giving a false name, choosing flowers and parting with 50 quid! So by this point, I couldn’t give a flying flip about the curtain, but was worried about our venue being double-booked! But a quick phone-call by our helpful florist solved the puzzle. It turns out this other couple had got engaged, gone straight into planning mode and ordered flowers and the curtain, paid the deposit before even booking a venue. They then hadn’t got as far as that because they broke up in the meanwhile. So the venue is ours; the curtain is ours (well for the day) and they are out £50 and don’t even have each other 😦 Sad –  but a lesson can be learnt. Don’t go booking and paying for things straight away before you even have a venue! You could break up…. or just give other future brides like myself, a heart attack!

Speaking of the venue, we still love it and are still very excited. It has caused us some stress also, however. Since booking our special day, they are now on their 3rd manager! Is it me and my incessant bridal questioning that has scared them off? Surprisingly, no! The first manager went on long-term sick – and I know this can’t be helped, but I was very disappointed because I felt like in addition to investing in the venue, we had invested in him also. I clung onto the hope he would be back in the New Year. He did get better but then left the hotel. We had dealt with a relief  manager in the meanwhile and then next time we had visited, there was another one. I know this shouldn’t matter. Our wedding will be great (the mantra I repeat with every single, piece of confetti I make!) but I just feel we have to keep going back to step one, telling the new manager everything!

Another annoying thing to bring us to the current wedding planning week, is the invitation making. I had this idealised idea that we would have a lovely evening printing off our invites to our nuptials. After the first click, the printer decided to chew up our envelopes. One by one. Turns out, in addition to our 80 guests, the printer wanted feeding too! So fingers crossed, we get those sorted this weekend! Things will go wrong, but as I say, I always get a story out of it!

As they say, it’ll be alright on the Wedding night day!

Keep posted for some Hen Do stories!

XSXS

Bride Blogger Part 7: The One

Wahoo, I have found the one! Yes – I have found my – the – wedding dress! After discussing my wedding dress hunts in Bride Blogger part 6 (https://samanthagray9.wordpress.com/2014/08/16/hunt-for-the-perfect-wedding-dress-and-bridal-shop/), I did indeed return to the one good shop I had found. I had 3 appointments in total at Alison Evans Bridal Wear and it certainly was ‘3rd time lucky,’ as they say!

Funnily enough, the dress I chose was one of they very first dresses I tried on (possibly even the very first) and I didn’t like it! I preferred others, didn’t like the sleeves etc. But now I love it. I think I had to rule out all the others and realise that the sleeves can be altered/pinned down and can look great. So, yes the search is over.

Getting the dress home and it becoming officially mine, wasn’t the easiest of things though. I have joked to Kenny that finding ‘the one’ as in a husband was much easier than the wedding dress! He took slight offence until I explained there was no question of him being the one – but there were lots of questions involved with the dress 😉 Think I dug my way out of that one!

The dress I decided on was £875 originally and reduced to £600 when I tried it on. I knew, however, there was a sale on the week after and the lovely sales assistant informed us that the dress should go into the sale. I suggested we would be best to buy it now anyway – to ensure we got it – and still for a good price! She urged us to wait for the sale, claiming we could save another couple of hundred. Why would she say that? I hear you cry…….. well, as I said in the previous post, it seems good business and means they maintain excellent word-of-mouth. We were also told, there had been no particular interest in ‘my’ dress and most appointments were booked now leading up to the sale. So, we (yes I dragged the Mums and bridesmaids along again) decided to wait .

All week there was a nagging feeling. What if someone went in, loved it and bought it at £600? What if other people had tried it on and would be fighting for it in the sale? But there was nothing I could do. I didn’t even have control over queuing in the sale and fighting for my dress of honour! The sale began 10am on the Fri – well I was at school. So, it was all left up to my Mum and Dad to queue up, take the paperwork with dress info, hunt it down and pay. Simple?

We joked about them camping outside the shop in their camper van. I still think they should have – even if just for the comedy value. And it would have given Dad a great story for his wedding speech! We also heard about 7 women all coming in for the same,one dress. I never heard what happened with that – I never heard of a wedding dress shop scandal or fight in the newspaper, so assume it was OK! Anyway, Mum and Dad got there early enough and started queuing – whilst I was in a lesson at school going out of my mind! Mum text me at half 9 saying ( I’d just like to point out, I didn’t check my phone until I was out of lesson!):

‘There are about 8 people in front of us – but some are together. There is only one girl who looks the same size as you, but she looks a bit chavvy and won’t be after your dress! Alison just came out with chocolate biscuits!’

Lol, I love my Mum – cracks me up. She also questioned why the shop owner would give them chocolate biscuits when they were about to touch white dresses? Good point I guess! My Dad joked that they wanted to fatten people up so they would need alterations! 😉  haha. Within another ten minutes, I received another text:

‘Got it – just waiting to pay. £435!’

So that was it – wahoo! It is now hanging proudly in my old bedroom and my parents’. My dad even put up a hook for it 🙂

The one (husband-to-be and dress ticked off!)

XSXS

Hunt for the perfect wedding dress – and bridal shop!

Bride Blogger Part 6

Well, I have started trying dresses on for the big day! It is now less than a year away until I become a Mrs, so figured I should get trying on some dresses. I’ve seen it on TV where future brides try on lovely, intricate dresses surrounded by a teary, enthusiastic audience – all helped along by the most helpful, friendly member of staff, oh and the glass of champagne! Now, I live in Swad, I wasn’t expecting the champagne, but I did envisage a wonderful human-being who just wants to find a bride her perfect dress. A woman whose career was a calling not just a way to pay the bills. My standard was high.

My first shopping trip was Monday with my Maid of Honour/sister and bridesmaid/best friend. My hope for the perfect dress soon began to plummet, as the first two bridal shops we went to were closed! It seems Mondays are a popular day for Bridal shops to be closed – they have a busy Saturday and take Sunday and Monday as their weekend. Doh. But, after lunch, there was a little ray of hope. A shop that was actually in our little town called Alison Evans Bridalwear. We made an appointment over the phone and spent about an hour there. Thank you to all of you who recommended that we try there. It was brilliant and the perfect first shop to try. There were racks of gorgeous dresses to choose from and some excellent advice to accessorise the experience. I was advised to try about six dresses on to get an idea of style without overwhelming myself – and my poor bridesmaids! We were allowed to take some photographs too and I did fall in love with one dress (yet wasn’t sure about the back – so it was not the ONE!) Other little highlights of this great shop – were mirrors facing to get an all round look of the gowns, weddings shoes to be borrowed and worn and absolutely no pressure to buy. In fact, she gave me the details of the designer and model number of the dress and suggested I tried other shops to see what I thought. When you want something, set it free. And this is good business I think – because after visiting a few more places this week, I really want to return to this great shop and give them my business. So I’ll be back with the Mums in tow next time!

On the Wednesday, I went to Lincoln with my Mum. I didn’t particularly want to buy a dress from somewhere that far away, but I thought trying a few on couldn’t do any harm. And, besides, I now had lots of bridal optimism and thought I may see the ONE and just have to get it! The experience in the shop couldn’t have been more different! I was ushered into the changing room straight away. I began to wander out again whilst chatting to the woman – assuming that I was to come and look at the dresses and select a few – but NO! I was told I needed to be in the changing room and to take my clothes off. It turns out, I wasn’t to choose which dresses to try on, Miss Control-Freak was going to do that! 4 dresses got pushed onto me quickly within a twenty minute period. My mum was not allowed to take photos. I was told that if I wanted straps that would cut my choice down by 80% and as for not wanting a V neck with lace, I might as well give up now! She was very bossy about the fact that I needed to decide which style I wanted. How dare I like straight down lace ones as well as full skirted satin ones?! I quickly found out that her so called statistics and opinions were down to the fact that she didn’t really have what I wanted. She also said the word ‘appreciate’ about a million times – about the same as her dress costs – ‘You’ll appreciate that it is a busy time.’  ‘You’ll appreciate that we only stock certain sizes.’ What I do appreciate is not being treated like a moron. So, off I went to find my lacy dress with straps elsewhere!

On Friday – really getting the Craig David 7 Days song vibe now? ‘I found a dream bridal shop on Monday, took a break on Tuesday, got bossed around on Wednesday, another break on Thursday……….Well on Friday, I was insulted in another shop!

I took the Mums this time to another local bridal shop. I won’t name and shame, but if anyone does want to know more details then message me for warnings! We went in and the woman asked me what size dresses I had been trying on. I said a mixture really- some had been too big and held against me and some only partly fastened because they were too small, as I was only looking at style at the moment. I also said that I was a size 14 in normal clothing though. Now, if she was experienced at her job, she should have suggested that I try a size above or a mixture of sizes as they all vary. But, no, we picked out about 8 size 14 dresses and then she began to struggle to get the first one on me. She said, ‘Are you sure you’ve been trying on 14s?’ Well, I did say, no but that was my usual size! The next gem that followed and stood out as much as the ones on the dresses was,

‘Is losing a few pounds on the cards?’

 

Now, luckily I am not sensitive about these things. I’m happy with my weight – but she doesn’t know that. For all she knew, I could have spent the first 6 months of my engagement losing a few stone. I may lose a little before the wedding, but that is none of her business. I said through gritted teeth, ‘It may be.’ I think she then knew that she had pissed me off, as she back- tracked and said ‘Well I only said that because of this dress. If you were to lose a few pounds, this would fit perfectly.’ Well, I’m not buying a dress to then worry that I have to shrink to fit into it. I tried on other 14s and some fit, some didn’t. Some 16s – some fit and some didn’t. I tried on a 18 and it was too small. Wedding dress sizes are crazy – you think she would have known that in her line of work? She was just generally unhappy and unfriendly and I don’t get it. These people are around pretty dresses and happy people all day – if you don’t like making wedding dreams come true, then don’t do it! On the plus side (excuse the pun!), my mother-in-law to be got her outfit! She said she almost didn’t want to give her business, but I said she had found the right outfit and would be spiting herself if she didn’t get it.

So the hunt for the ideal dress is still on – but I’ve found the shop that I want to return to. (And 2 I will never set foot in again!)

Keep Calm and Carry on all you brides out there!

XSXS

Buy your Cake and Eat it!

Cake

1.)

cake2

2.)

cake 3

3.)

Bride Blogger Part 5

 

Hi brides-to-be, bloggers, readers and any other wedding goers! The wedding prep has died down a little, as with over a year to go still, there isn’t a lot to do in the present. We have the venue and the registrar. So the WHERE and the WHO bits of our wedding are taken care of – what else could you need? A lot it seems. One of those things being a cake. Cakes are used as part of a lot of English celebrations – and it seems at a wedding, not only is it a tasty treat for your guests, but it has to be a fantastic, wowing centre piece!

The wedding cake is traditionally cut by the bride and groom and eaten by the guests at the wedding reception. I have many memories of taking pieces home though – as you are usually full up of yummy wedding food. And with the price of the Wedding Breakfast food and evening food, people best be full!!!

I’ve also read that wedding cake used to be broken over/thrown at the bride as a symbol of fertility. Wasting a few hundred pound cake by throwing it about is like throwing money down a drain: who could ever afford a child?! Crazy ideas – again to me, it could be eaten not thrown about like a ball. Plus it could get on my lovely dress!

Wedding cakes are supposed to signify good luck and happiness for the happy couple and the guests. To me, it is important it is one thing: delicious! It  is a cake after all! No matter how pretty or magnificent it is, if it tastes horrible, there will be some disappointed guests.  And it isn’t good luck if you choke on some hard, dry sponge! So, yes I want it look good but it is equally important that it tastes good – and I feel I should be able to get both of these at a non-ridiculous price! Honestly, some of them can cost £1000 or more – for sponge! Crazy industry! I know, I know – you’re paying for their time and labour – but still. I was thinking a nice, simple one that fits with the colour scheme – with maybe a funny cake-topper on the top (funnily enough!) of maybe me reading/ Kenny rowing! Haha. Even though, that hasn’t stopped me looking at more elaborate ones:

1.) The first pic is hilarious and would be very fitting for our clumsiness! Love it! I imagine a lot of effort would have to go into that though.

2.) The one on the left is really cool. Pictures printed around each side of the couple. Kenny has an idea to get photos on a supermarket cake as a cheaper way of doing it! Mmmm…. will see about that!

3.) I’m not sure we would need this many layers, but I love how each one tells a story of the love between the couple! Love the colours too.

So, there are some cake ideas – will need to look at lots more and do plenty of testing I imagine too 😉 Any tips or ideas – please comment below!

XSXS

 

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